The recent events in Charlottesville were heartbreaking. For many of us, regardless of political affiliation, we didn’t recognize this United States. One with blatant hate. One with frightening anger. One that kills people during protest. My heart broke for the people of Charlottesville. And all of us watching it unfurl. My heart broke that this is a possible reflection of our country and what it means to the millions of children trying to make their way in the world. My heart broke for what it displayed to other countries around the world – who must think we have lost our collective mind.
I was so troubled by the events – and by the reaction (or lack of reaction) by Trump for so many days. As so many articulated well, silence lets hate breed. Not articulating the extreme hate, the racism, the Neo-Nazi-ism was the same as accepting the behavior.
At the same time, so many brilliant people had such knowledge to share. Did the world need another blog on the topic? Then I watched a Facebook Live video by Brene’ Brown and I found power in amplifying her message. The only positive element that comes from crisis is learning. So in the spirit of learning from Charlottesville, here are my top 3 lessons:
1) Love is Courageous and Relentless
I love Cory Booker. As a storyteller, as an orator, as an articulation of light. Of all the news stories I read, Facebook messages and Tweets that I encountered, his message stuck with me most fully. His encouragement that we not just “hope that things will change” but that we will “meet the urgent demands of our moment in history.”
… “Martin Luther King, Jr., aptly said, “It may well be that we will have to repent in this generation. Not merely for the vitriolic words and the violent actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence and indifference of the good people.”
It is up to us to do more than just look upon the violence and hate on display in Virginia with disapproval. There is serious work to do in our nation from addressing the growing hate and hate crimes in the United States to dealing with persistent systemic injustices in our criminal justice system.
Condemnation is expected. Anger is understood. But only action, work, sacrifice and struggle will yield progress. The focus should not just be about what “they” did in Virginia, but what we will do where we are to advance our nation toward greater justice.
I believe in love.
I believe that love can indeed conquer hate.
But love is not passive. Love doesn’t just sit back and hope that things will change.
Love demands us confronting our own ignorance or complicity in injustice or our own biases and humbly working to change ourselves and our community.
Love is courageous and relentless and it is indeed what our nation needs now.
I believe in love.
I believe in us.
May we all rise to meet the urgent demands of our moment in history.”
2) The Impact of Privilege, Perspective and Power
Brene’s Facebook Live video was about privilege, perspective and power. She wisely advised us all to learn from the story of Charlottesville, and to own the collective story of white supremacy in the United States. Because when we own the hateful words, we take away their power. More than anything I read, Brene’ articulated what many of us – certainly those of us that are white – can learn from Charlottesville.
The first concept is Privilege. As she describes, the topic of privilege makes many people recoil. Because many people work their way up from nothing. But this is not the privilege she describes. Privilege related to race is about unearned rights. It’s about the invisible backpack of privilege that many of us carry – completely unaware. If you can walk into any store and pick up a doll that matches your daughter perfectly – this is a privilege. If you can easily find a band-aid that matches your skin – this is privilege. If you can drive in any neighborhood without getting pulled over for no reason – you are privileged.
And privilege is not necessarily specific to race. If you are a straight person and can hold hands without question in a movie theater anywhere in the world, you are privileged. If you can wear a cross as a symbol of your religion without question, you are privileged.
It is unearned access and authority that creates privilege. And if we don’t acknowledge our privilege, we don’t acknowledge the pain of others – or the backbone of our country – equality for all. So for those of that may have chosen to opt out of the conversation because you worry you may not contribute perfectly, this is the definition of privilege. For those that didn’t want to think about it, thought it was made into too big of a deal – you are privileged. We learn by owning it.
Next is Perspective. We all see the world through a lens – whether its age, race, ability, insight, or personal stories – we all see the world through a unique lens. Research shows the whiter, more educated, and more religious we are the more likely we are to believe how we see the world, is actually the world. For many this is unconscious – but the definition of empathy is putting down your individual lens, and picking up the lens of another perspective. We should believe other people’s stories and their experiences as they tell them to us – without question or judgement. We don’t run other’s life through our own lens – we respect the truth of their lens and we don’t dismiss their truth.
Finally, Power – which Martin Luther King Jr. defined as the ability to affect change. Research also shows that powerlessness is the most dangerous state we can ever experience. It leads to violence, isolation, shame, and self-harm. Somehow, in this great big world of unlimited opportunity, we have come to believe that power is finite. That the pie can only be distributed so far. That of course there are “have’s” and “have-nots”. Yet, in reality, power is infinite. It does not run out. And when try to “power over” people, we leave out valuable experiences. And we become “less than” by seeking to become “more than.”
This message spoke so loudly to me that I watched the video a few times. Whatever you learned from Charlottesville, I hope you learned something. For me, it was a deeper understanding of the privilege I enjoy each and every day, the importance of perspective, and the importance of infinite power.
3) There Is Goodness in the World
As a long-time employee in tech, I was so encouraged to see our business leaders stepping up to do the right thing – with voices and with action. From my own CEO, Satya Nadella, who shared with our company “There is no place in our society for the bias, bigotry and senseless violence we witnessed this weekend in Virginia provoked by white nationalists”. To companies like Facebook, Google, GoDaddy and many more who banned hate language and hate groups. To the CEO rebellion from Trump’s advisory councils which sent a loud signal of condemnation. It is fascinating to see the role of corporate America and how it can be a force for good.
Finally, after an incredibly long week, didn’t we all need Tina Fey and her call to sheetcake? Perfectly Tina – spot on message and ridiculously hilarious.
The Redefining 