Today is the Boston Marathon and I am not running it.
But guess what?? Next year I will be!!
One of my most tangible examples of calling a shot and making it happen was my 2018 resolution to run a marathon. Mission accomplished.
Actually twice. Let me tell you a story.
I trained for the New York City marathon with the primary goal of completion. As a lifelong runner, this seemed like a super reasonable goal. I had a leg up (hee hee…get it?🙂 on most. I won four state championships in high school and had a full scholarship to a top running university. I used to run 70 miles a week in high school, so high mileage was not a foreign concept. But.
All of that running at a young age came at a heavy cost. By the time I made it to college my bone density rivaled that of a 70 year old woman. I had stress fracture after stress fracture after stress fracture in the tibia bones in my legs. Because my bones were fragile, they would take forever to heal. And then I would almost get back in shape and sigh. Injured again. It was a very depressing cycle and eventually I retired from collegiate racing after my junior year.
I returned to collegiate racing during my technical 5th year of eligibility while I was pursuing a master’s degree at the University of Missouri. Initially I had reached out about a coaching position, but agreed to run if we could stay within my “injury free zone” – about 30 miles a week. Way less than half of what I did at my prime. But, I gave it a shot and finished one full season of cross country at the National Championships. And then I got hurt again. So that was it. Really.
I had a life to live! A career to start. A boyfriend to chase across the country and live on the west coast. The boyfriend became a husband. The first job is now my 21st year at Microsoft. Three kids joined the fray.
All along, I ran. Mostly to stay in shape and because I have always loved the feeling of a good run. But super recreationally. Three miles here, four miles there.
After my third child (11 years ago) and supporting my husband as he ran a number of marathons, I wanted to sign up for a challenge. The Vancouver Half Marathon seemed like a good one. I enjoyed the training and was proud of completing it about seven months post-partum.
Over the years, I did other half marathons but largely just ran when I felt like it. I was never interested in running a marathon because I didn’t want to risk getting hurt again (and being sidelined for months) and I didn’t think I had the time between working and mom-ing.
Then, I started running with a girlfriend a few mornings a week and fell back in love with friendship through running. Eventually, we decided to train for the NYC Marathon. We did all of the training. All of the long runs were done together and it was a fun experience. Truly.
We were on the flight to NYC when the marathon was cancelled due to Hurricane Sandy. This was in 2012. It was a big, huge bummer. All of that training and no marathon completion. We did enjoy a fun week-end together in NYC and time moved on.
Because my IT band had gotten irritated my last few weeks of training, I never did complete a marathon from that training cycle.
And then 6 years went by. How does that happen???
Life. That’s how it happens. We get busy. Time flies. And somehow six years can go by. I turned 40. And then 41. And on to my 42rd birthday. I saw other friends doing incredible things and so a big resolution for me to start 2018 was to run a marathon. For real. Even if I got hurt. Even if I walked to the finish line. I needed this bucket list item.
So, I committed. NYC Marathon 2018. I called the shot. And then I made it happen. I did physical therapy to strengthen my IT band and surrounding muscles on my bum leg. I mapped out a light mileage (building to 25 miles/week) plan – for marathon training anyway – and made getting my runs in my One Thing for key days. Long run build, check. Ready to go, check.
I was so excited to get to NYC. My husband came along as my support team and I was super proud to pick up my number on race week-end. We went for a short run in Central Park and I was so motivated. This was happening! One way or another, I was going to be a marathoner. Look how excited I am in this photo when I picked up my number!
On race day, I was nervous but excited. I was trying really hard to set any expectations aside. But secretly, I really wanted to quality for Boston.
Based on my training runs, it should have been do-able. Ha! Marathon novice that I was.
Whew. This is already way longer than I meant to be. But bear with me.
The biggest thing I was under-prepared for were the logistics of NYC. This was silly – as my husband had run it before.
Here’s how it works on marathon day. I woke up at 4am to make sure I made my 5am bus to the start. That’s right. 5am. Unfortunately I didn’t go to sleep until 1am (I have a tough time adjusting to east coast time zone from the west coast and I was excited!). So three hours of sleep later, I’m up.
I pulled on my multiple layers of clothing (this was good advice!) because it is cold at 5am in New York in November. I had massive sweats I had bought on sale at Macy’s that worked perfectly. My husband (good man that he is) walked me to the bus where my clear trash bag (for security reasons) and I boarded the bus. The bus ride was about 40 minutes to Staten Island, where the race begins.
Alrighty! Let’s do this!
But my start time wasn’t until 10:30am. About four hours away at this point. Once you arrive at the starting area, you join a specific village, where people roam around like its a homeless shelter. It really is surreal.
Alrighty! Let’s have some coffee.
I drank two small cups of free Dunkin Donuts coffee. Read an entire magazine (which I had brought in my trash bag, which I was now sitting on to stay dry from the damp grass).
About 8am, I had my peanut butter toast that I had brought (the fuel I had before my training runs) and some water. I read another magazine. Then I made friends with a nice lady from Texas.
Finally! It was the start! I could not wait to get going!!!
As you line up, you can hear Frank Sinatra’s New York, New York blaring. My wave joined around 50,000 other runners for the largest marathon in the world.
I had so much fun! The first mile or so you run over the Verrazano bridge. It is a double decker bridge shaking from all of the runners. On race day, the sky was blue, the water was sparkling, and I tried to soak up the reality that this was happening!!!
I got in a groove and felt great. I smiled through Brooklyn as thousands of people cheered loudly. I high-fived. I waved at small children. I even did the YMCA on some random street as music blared. Woohoo! This is fun!
Then we made our way over the Williamsburg bridge and into Queens! I’m feeling great! Gospel choirs were singing. I was well on path for my Boston qualifier. I think I’m kind of nailing my first marathon.
Around mile 16, here comes the Queensboro bridge and down into Manhattan. Everyone said this was where you would get an energy burst from the crowds. But, huh. No energy burst here.
In fact, uh oh. I’m starting to feel really weak and tired. It’s ok! It will pass. One foot in front of the other. Oh Queens. I don’t love you anymore. I think I may be seriously dehydrated. I felt like this once before in college and nearly passed out at the end of a race. I really don’t want to pass out on the streets of New York. Not good. Really not good.
I knew I would see my husband at mile 18 so I focused hard on making it to mile 18. I knew he would encourage me. And possibly help me find a cab back to the hotel. I honestly didn’t know if I would keep going. This was not turning out to be the day I wanted or had trained for.
By the time I saw my husband, I was convinced I was not going to make it. I literally thought I might faint. I saw him and I could see him register the look on my face. Did he give me a huge hug? Did we ask me if I was OK? Nope! He gave me a 32 oz bottle of water, a little shove on the back and said, “Keep moving! You can do it!” As it turns out, this was a huge gift.
I think I was so surprised at the lack of sympathy and so grateful for the water that I just started walking. Drinking and walking. Drinking and walking. The crowds were still cheering. People were flying by me. It was like I was in slow motion.
Hmmm…..there goes the 3:40 pacer sign. Definitely not breaking 3:40 now. Several minutes go by. Still drinking and walking. Annnnd there goes the 3:45 sign. Annnnd then the 3:50 sign.
Now what? I still feel terrible. I have literally walked more than one mile. Drank an entire 32 oz of water. I think I should quit. This is so embarrassing. Definitely not “running” the marathon like I thought.
But….ugh…..I don’t want to be a quitter. And I really want this bucket list completion. Who knows if I will ever train for another marathon? And, at this point, I’m almost 20 miles in. There’s no medal for running 20 miles. Surely I can gut out six more?
So, after walking nearly two miles and having literally no clue if and when I would ever finish. I started jogging. Like, barely jogging. Around mile 21, I started feeling better. During this window, I ran through the Bronx, but I remember nothing. Truly.
And then….Central Park! Holy hallelujah. I am finishing this. Without a doubt. This will happen. One foot in front of the other.
Finally, the finish line came into sight. There was definitely no sprinting to the finish and no joyous celebration. But I felt deep, deep relief.
The time was a disappointment (4:06..which in hindsight wasn’t terrible, but far off my goal). Here is pictorial of what falling way off the wagon looks like. I’d draw your eyes to the average time/mile column.
More importantly than the time, the experience (while I loved parts of it), was so not what I had in mind (after mile 16 anyway). But I was proud of myself. I gutted it out. I could tell my kids I finished with pride. And seriously, did anyone other than me care how long it took me? The answer, of course, is no.
This I know for sure. Finishing a marathon is a remarkable achievement. No matter your background or your training, it’s a legit distance and the unexpected can take anyone down.
This I also know for sure. You really need to know how to fuel. It’s a long way. Your body burns a lot of energy. While my method in training worked on each long run, I later learned I was seriously under-fueled, particularly given the extra five hours of waiting for the games to begin on Staten Island.
But, I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. I was reminded that I am a tough cookie. I was reminded that achieving a big goal is the bomb. I was reminded that each of us is human and some days require a whole lot more grit than others.
And I knew that I wasn’t done. But the next part of the story deserves another chapter. This first chapter has already been far longer than I had planned. But another thing I’m reminded of – it’s so easy for the words to flow when you are writing about something you love.
The Redefining 