Juggling

May 4th, friends. The stay-at-home order for my state of Washington has been extended to May 4th due to the COVID-19 health crisis. Wow.

The last day I went to work (in the office) was February 19th. My kids haven’t gone to school since March 10th. I haven’t driven my car in…I think….a week? So. crazy.

With the extension of the order, our lives will continue to exist on pause to a degree. In some ways, we’re all still trying to function. But nothing is normal. And nothing is like it was.

There is a sense of stillness. No traffic. No businesses are open. Everyone is supposed to stay six feet apart, so no friend gatherings or other social connections. It feels like a strange, strange world.

It’s a strange dichotomy. While in some ways the world is quieter than ever before in my lifetime, it also is striking how much more work there is to do when creature comforts – yes, privileges – are stripped away. And when an entire family is cooped up together for weeks on end.

We are flying through groceries and dishes with all of us eating every meal at home. We aren’t doing any take-out or delivery out of caution. There are three children to care for. I’m deep cleaning like I haven’t in years because in the midst of a pandemic, no one is coming into our home to clean it. Ironic, right? At the same time, my job hasn’t slowed down. Many of the people I work with are fortunate to have a stay-at-home spouse that has picked up childcare responsibilities. I don’t honestly know how any of us are doing it.

My husband and I are divide and conquering. It is kind of working.

After a week of trying to do it all and feeling like I might explode, I hired a nanny to help with our youngest six hours a day. She was our nanny for a few years before going to physical therapy school. Now her school is closed and she was available. She is smart, trustworthy, social distancing appropriately and my youngest loves her. A smart risk, in my opinion.

It is really only because of her that it is working. My job has been super demanding with an increased workload due to the crisis (also ironic, right?). My husband also has career demands. We have two high schoolers that are now online schooling and a youngest with special needs that needs a lot of care.

I read something the other day from a friend that said something like, “There is a reason there are career women, stay-at-home mom’s, and teachers. Because they are three distinct jobs.” Amen. Amen. To expect any of us to do it all right now is…laughable.

I read an article today that made me giggle. Printed in the Atlantic, it did a play on words of a famous quote that had made the rounds on social media.

“Enough already. When people try to be cheerful about social distancing and working from home, noting that William Shakespeare and Isaac Newton did some of their best work while England was ravaged by the plague, there is an obvious response: Neither of them had child-care responsibilities.“

Amen. Amen.

To the juggler’s still trying to keep the balls in the air, god bless you. I’ve been dropping balls left and right. And I still have some help. And I’m trying to be OK with my dropped balls.

For now, I think we’re all going to have to give each other grace for dropping those balls. Most of them will bounce back up. Some might bounce away – and that may actually be for the best. Luckily, we’re built to be durable jugglers. And when we can eventually toss a few balls to others, we’ll appreciate the synchronicity of our normal circus like never before.