Author: Lisa Gurry

Today is the Boston Marathon and I am not running it.

But guess what?? Next year I will be!!

One of my most tangible examples of calling a shot and making it happen was my 2018 resolution to run a marathon. Mission accomplished.

Actually twice. Let me tell you a story.

I trained for the New York City marathon with the primary goal of completion. As a lifelong runner, this seemed like a super reasonable goal. I had a leg up (hee hee…get it?🙂 on most. I won four state championships in high school and had a full scholarship to a top running university. I used to run 70 miles a week in high school, so high mileage was not a foreign concept. But.

All of that running at a young age came at a heavy cost. By the time I made it to college my bone density rivaled that of a 70 year old woman. I had stress fracture after stress fracture after stress fracture in the tibia bones in my legs. Because my bones were fragile, they would take forever to heal. And then I would almost get back in shape and sigh. Injured again. It was a very depressing cycle and eventually I retired from collegiate racing after my junior year.

I returned to collegiate racing during my technical 5th year of eligibility while I was pursuing a master’s degree at the University of Missouri. Initially I had reached out about a coaching position, but agreed to run if we could stay within my “injury free zone” – about 30 miles a week. Way less than half of what I did at my prime. But, I gave it a shot and finished one full season of cross country at the National Championships. And then I got hurt again. So that was it. Really.

I had a life to live! A career to start. A boyfriend to chase across the country and live on the west coast. The boyfriend became a husband. The first job is now my 21st year at Microsoft. Three kids joined the fray.

All along, I ran. Mostly to stay in shape and because I have always loved the feeling of a good run. But super recreationally. Three miles here, four miles there.

After my third child (11 years ago) and supporting my husband as he ran a number of marathons, I wanted to sign up for a challenge. The Vancouver Half Marathon seemed like a good one. I enjoyed the training and was proud of completing it about seven months post-partum.

Over the years, I did other half marathons but largely just ran when I felt like it. I was never interested in running a marathon because I didn’t want to risk getting hurt again (and being sidelined for months) and I didn’t think I had the time between working and mom-ing.

Then, I started running with a girlfriend a few mornings a week and fell back in love with friendship through running. Eventually, we decided to train for the NYC Marathon. We did all of the training. All of the long runs were done together and it was a fun experience. Truly.

We were on the flight to NYC when the marathon was cancelled due to Hurricane Sandy. This was in 2012. It was a big, huge bummer. All of that training and no marathon completion. We did enjoy a fun week-end together in NYC and time moved on.

Because my IT band had gotten irritated my last few weeks of training, I never did complete a marathon from that training cycle.

And then 6 years went by. How does that happen???

Life. That’s how it happens. We get busy. Time flies. And somehow six years can go by. I turned 40. And then 41. And on to my 42rd birthday. I saw other friends doing incredible things and so a big resolution for me to start 2018 was to run a marathon. For real. Even if I got hurt. Even if I walked to the finish line. I needed this bucket list item.

So, I committed. NYC Marathon 2018. I called the shot. And then I made it happen. I did physical therapy to strengthen my IT band and surrounding muscles on my bum leg. I mapped out a light mileage (building to 25 miles/week) plan – for marathon training anyway – and made getting my runs in my One Thing for key days. Long run build, check. Ready to go, check.

I was so excited to get to NYC. My husband came along as my support team and I was super proud to pick up my number on race week-end. We went for a short run in Central Park and I was so motivated. This was happening! One way or another, I was going to be a marathoner. Look how excited I am in this photo when I picked up my number!

On race day, I was nervous but excited. I was trying really hard to set any expectations aside. But secretly, I really wanted to quality for Boston.

Based on my training runs, it should have been do-able. Ha! Marathon novice that I was.

Whew. This is already way longer than I meant to be. But bear with me.

The biggest thing I was under-prepared for were the logistics of NYC. This was silly – as my husband had run it before.

Here’s how it works on marathon day. I woke up at 4am to make sure I made my 5am bus to the start. That’s right. 5am. Unfortunately I didn’t go to sleep until 1am (I have a tough time adjusting to east coast time zone from the west coast and I was excited!). So three hours of sleep later, I’m up.

I pulled on my multiple layers of clothing (this was good advice!) because it is cold at 5am in New York in November. I had massive sweats I had bought on sale at Macy’s that worked perfectly. My husband (good man that he is) walked me to the bus where my clear trash bag (for security reasons) and I boarded the bus. The bus ride was about 40 minutes to Staten Island, where the race begins.

Alrighty! Let’s do this!

But my start time wasn’t until 10:30am. About four hours away at this point. Once you arrive at the starting area, you join a specific village, where people roam around like its a homeless shelter. It really is surreal.

Alrighty! Let’s have some coffee.

I drank two small cups of free Dunkin Donuts coffee. Read an entire magazine (which I had brought in my trash bag, which I was now sitting on to stay dry from the damp grass).

About 8am, I had my peanut butter toast that I had brought (the fuel I had before my training runs) and some water. I read another magazine. Then I made friends with a nice lady from Texas.

Finally! It was the start! I could not wait to get going!!!

As you line up, you can hear Frank Sinatra’s New York, New York blaring. My wave joined around 50,000 other runners for the largest marathon in the world.

I had so much fun! The first mile or so you run over the Verrazano bridge. It is a double decker bridge shaking from all of the runners. On race day, the sky was blue, the water was sparkling, and I tried to soak up the reality that this was happening!!!

I got in a groove and felt great. I smiled through Brooklyn as thousands of people cheered loudly. I high-fived. I waved at small children. I even did the YMCA on some random street as music blared. Woohoo! This is fun!

Then we made our way over the Williamsburg bridge and into Queens! I’m feeling great! Gospel choirs were singing. I was well on path for my Boston qualifier. I think I’m kind of nailing my first marathon.

Around mile 16, here comes the Queensboro bridge and down into Manhattan. Everyone said this was where you would get an energy burst from the crowds. But, huh. No energy burst here.

In fact, uh oh. I’m starting to feel really weak and tired. It’s ok! It will pass. One foot in front of the other. Oh Queens. I don’t love you anymore. I think I may be seriously dehydrated. I felt like this once before in college and nearly passed out at the end of a race. I really don’t want to pass out on the streets of New York. Not good. Really not good.

I knew I would see my husband at mile 18 so I focused hard on making it to mile 18. I knew he would encourage me. And possibly help me find a cab back to the hotel. I honestly didn’t know if I would keep going. This was not turning out to be the day I wanted or had trained for.

By the time I saw my husband, I was convinced I was not going to make it. I literally thought I might faint. I saw him and I could see him register the look on my face. Did he give me a huge hug? Did we ask me if I was OK? Nope! He gave me a 32 oz bottle of water, a little shove on the back and said, “Keep moving! You can do it!” As it turns out, this was a huge gift.

I think I was so surprised at the lack of sympathy and so grateful for the water that I just started walking. Drinking and walking. Drinking and walking. The crowds were still cheering. People were flying by me. It was like I was in slow motion.

Hmmm…..there goes the 3:40 pacer sign. Definitely not breaking 3:40 now. Several minutes go by. Still drinking and walking. Annnnd there goes the 3:45 sign. Annnnd then the 3:50 sign.

Now what? I still feel terrible. I have literally walked more than one mile. Drank an entire 32 oz of water. I think I should quit. This is so embarrassing. Definitely not “running” the marathon like I thought.

But….ugh…..I don’t want to be a quitter. And I really want this bucket list completion. Who knows if I will ever train for another marathon? And, at this point, I’m almost 20 miles in. There’s no medal for running 20 miles. Surely I can gut out six more?

So, after walking nearly two miles and having literally no clue if and when I would ever finish. I started jogging. Like, barely jogging. Around mile 21, I started feeling better. During this window, I ran through the Bronx, but I remember nothing. Truly.

And then….Central Park! Holy hallelujah. I am finishing this. Without a doubt. This will happen. One foot in front of the other.

Finally, the finish line came into sight. There was definitely no sprinting to the finish and no joyous celebration. But I felt deep, deep relief.

The time was a disappointment (4:06..which in hindsight wasn’t terrible, but far off my goal). Here is pictorial of what falling way off the wagon looks like. I’d draw your eyes to the average time/mile column.

More importantly than the time, the experience (while I loved parts of it), was so not what I had in mind (after mile 16 anyway). But I was proud of myself. I gutted it out. I could tell my kids I finished with pride. And seriously, did anyone other than me care how long it took me? The answer, of course, is no.

This I know for sure. Finishing a marathon is a remarkable achievement. No matter your background or your training, it’s a legit distance and the unexpected can take anyone down.

This I also know for sure. You really need to know how to fuel. It’s a long way. Your body burns a lot of energy. While my method in training worked on each long run, I later learned I was seriously under-fueled, particularly given the extra five hours of waiting for the games to begin on Staten Island.

But, I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. I was reminded that I am a tough cookie. I was reminded that achieving a big goal is the bomb. I was reminded that each of us is human and some days require a whole lot more grit than others.

And I knew that I wasn’t done. But the next part of the story deserves another chapter. This first chapter has already been far longer than I had planned. But another thing I’m reminded of – it’s so easy for the words to flow when you are writing about something you love.

Tonight I am full of gratitude.

Grateful for my life. The people I love. And for my health.

For the last week or so, I have not felt well. A few days with a fever, after taking care of two of my kids that had the same fever. It’s a strange thing – a fever. Even a low-grade fever at my age feels terrible. Like, really terrible.

For the first time in a really, really long time, I felt awful. No energy. I laid on our couch outside my bedroom and binge watched Netflix. It was the first time in my life I actually binge watched a show. Two full seasons of a show called “Friends from College.” Each episode was thirty minutes but I watched two entire seasons. In two days. Plus Lady Gaga’s documentary. I don’t think I’ve ever been so lifeless…in a really, really long time.

That, in itself, is a good reason to be grateful. In the grand scheme of things, a few days is nothing. But then the fever was followed by a sinus infection. Ugh. Allergies gone bad. More lethargy. More napping during the day. More blah.

But then today, hallelujah! I feel almost normal. Still a bit slow and medicated for half of the day, but so much better. And so….grateful.

I hadn’t exercised in over a week and was so ready to do something. Anything. So I went for a very slow three mile run. I was getting out of breath just walking up a flight of stairs, so my expectations were not high. But I wanted to move. So, move I did.

It wasn’t pretty. Downright pokey, actually. But I was so…. grateful to move.

I thought about all of the people in the world with debilitating illnesses, life threatening conditions, or even my own youngest daughter, who cannot run due to her disability. There is a reason to be grateful for movement.

I was reminded of the power of gratitude. And how meaningful life can be when we are grateful for what we have. For all of our gifts – big and small.

In my latest reading, I’ve found many authors recommend keeping a gratitude journal. I actually have one of these. I bought it several years ago. And it’s still empty.

Its not that I haven’t been grateful. I just haven’t prioritized the practice of writing it down. The theory behind a gratitude journal is that by knowing you will record your grateful things at the end of the day, you will go about your day being seeing reasons to be grateful. I buy into this.

In many ways, this blog has reinforced how this small practice can work. When I first started writing, I saw that I did pursue inspiration through-out the day. I was more mindful. Paid more attention. Sought inspiration and creativity.

So I’m going to give this gratitude journal a shot. Here’s to day one! What better day than April 14th than to start?

If not now, when?

Heroes can reach us in the most unlikely of places. You just have to pay attention and wait to be inspired.

Case in point….Cher at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. On my recent girl’s trip, of which I did not feel guilty for taking, I planned my usual favorite itinerary.

A little bit of nature. I had always wanted to hike around Red Rocks Canyon, just a short 20 minute drive from the Strip. Somehow, after countless trips to Vegas I had never made it there. So I rented a car with this in mind and took my sisters and mom on a beautiful hike.

A lot of good food. A huge part of any girls trip is eating and drinking. I am stating the obvious. But to ensure you really eat and really drink well, one must plan. I made dinner reservations at my favorite spots and we ate like queens. I love introducing people I love to new and delicious food. To their credit, they were totally up for it. And, of course, signature cocktails can make a good day great.

Pool time. Of course. Shopping. Obviously.

But a girl trip goes next level when you push outside the usual and do something unexpected. Which brings me back to the unexpected hero worship.

For a belated birthday gift for my mom, we bought tickets to Cher. Now, I like Cher. She seemed quite groovy back in her prime and I was a legit fan for a minute during her “Turn Back Time” era. The lady can sing. And I always liked that she had a bit of an attitude.

Of course, I’m under-selling. She is also an Academy Award winning actress. She has delivered hits for literally decades. And at 73 (!), she is killing it on stage in a residency run in Vegas.

She put on an incredible show. Opening with a monologue about her early days playing small nightclubs, I was reminded of the resilience she has displayed over the years. What a fighter she had to be to find her independence from Sonny during a time being independent was frowned upon. How she has reinvented herself….time and time again.

And, how at 73, she can somehow still rock a stage nearly naked. For real. Not just in one outfit.

But two.

See what I mean? I love a lady that has lived a rich, full life on her own terms. She has embraced her talent, hustled, and is still entertaining – with a wink and a smile. You can tell she finds the whole Vegas schtick a bit absurd. But you can also tell she is being paid a boatload and she’s all good to play along.

She has an incredible life story and I can’t wait to read her memoir when it comes out in a few years. Apparently she is writing it right now. In the meantime, I leave you with a few wise words from the queen herself.

Today I am on a flight to Las Vegas. VEGAS BABY!!!

Truthfully, I’m not a huge Vegas fan. I don’t gamble. I’m a little old to be getting down in the club. Although I still love to tear it up.

But you know what I do love?

Recharging.

Girl time.

And I’m gleefully excited to have both on the horizon!

I’m meeting my mom and my two sisters for a long girl’s week-end. In what I hope is becoming an annual tradition, we’re meeting each spring – somewhere sunny – to relax and enjoy each other.

I’m ever so lucky, because these are my favorite women in the world. They know me better than most people on this earth and we can talk about anything. We laugh, share old stories, shop, eat and drink, and have a grand old time. Making memories with people I love is one of my most favorite things.

Before girl’s weekend kicks off, I have two days of work commitments. These commitments also involve doing what I love – storytelling, speech coaching, strategizing – with people who I have worked with for many years.

All in, I will be gone from home for six days. SIX DAYS!! By myself. With no immediate family.

How do you feel when you read that?

“Lucky you!”….. “Your husband must be a saint for running the show without you.”…. “I can’t imagine leaving my family/traveling for that long. I would miss my kids too much/my husband wouldn’t survive/etc.”….. “Why aren’t you going to Paris?”

So many degrees of reaction – I’ve heard them all.

I’ve been a mom for 16 years and not just a working mom, but a career-oriented professional, the entire time. Without a doubt, being a great mom is my top priority. I love my kids more than anything else on the planet.

But I also love to work. I really, really love to use my brain. Learn new things. Feel like I am accomplishing things professionally. It is a part of who I am, at my core. Always has been. It’s the same girl that wanted straight A’s, to win a debate, to be student of the month, and to be an All-American athlete. I still want these things.

For years, I would downplay my ambition and intelligence because most of my children’s world was made up of mom’s who worked in the home. These mom’s were – and are – some of my best friends. I admire their commitment, selflessness, and the joy they receive from their children. I appreciate their carpooling, fundraising, and making our community that much better. Most of the men I worked with had wives that stayed at home. And most of the women I worked with didn’t have children of their own yet. None of these amazing people asked me to downplay my professional aspirations or love of work, but I somehow felt that I should.
(this is totally on me, not them of course).

Would the world agree it is possible to be a great mom AND unabashedly love my job?

These dynamics have all changed over the years, but many times I have been asked “Why do you work?” Over time, I have gotten more comfortable with answering honestly, “Because I love it.”

And I have always felt that I could be a great mom and have a career. Were there trade-offs? Absolutely. Does it require a circus balancing act and tremendous juggling? Definitely. Did I need a lot of help? For sure. For many years, did I put myself last on the totem pole of joy? Hell yes.

But here is the most refreshing thing I have learned. It was possible. I have great kids. They feel loved and they know they matter in this world. They have big hearts and are great friends. They have access to education and activities and social awesomeness. While there were many years when they would ask me to be a “home mom”, I also would see their pride when they talked about my job with their friends.

I have never been ashamed of my career with them. Instead, I’ve framed it positively as an opportunity for me to contribute to our world, help support our family and present them with unlimited opportunities, and for me to continue to use my brain and do what I love. BUT I LOVE THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING!!

Now that they are older, leaving home is easy. I’ll admit I am still a little scarred by a few departures for work trips that were marred with tears and “Don’t go!” demands. But now, they have their own lives and that little girl that used to beg me to stay home now just asks me to Uber to the airport so she can drive my car while I’m gone. It is SO refreshing to not feel guilty – not the least little bit – about prioritizing myself for a few days. I am so worth it. And they are all so capable of making it just fine without me. We’ll miss each other, sure. And I will give them extra huge hugs when I return.

For now, I’m relishing my alone time on this plane. I’m excited about the extra big suitcase I packed (and checked due to size!) to ensure I have as many wardrobe options as I’ll want. I’m thinking about which spa treatments I might schedule. I’m looking forward to checking out the pools at the hotel. No guilt. Nada.

Am I grateful for my husband holding down the fort while I’m gone? Sure! Just as he was grateful when I held down the fort for his recent 8 day trip to Ireland. Or his upcoming long golf week-end with his friends. I won’t make him feel guilty for a second. And I expect the same in return. Both from my family and the universe at large.

You see, mommy guilt can be the real deal. It’s a heavy burden and suppresses the amazing mom you likely are and makes you feel guilty about embracing the other talents and passions in your life. The challenge is no one wins.

I believe no one’s entire value should be based on roles we play for other people. If we are always living only for others, we risk forgetting what makes us innately happy – on our own terms. It has taken me years to confidently say – unapologetically  – I want more in my life. I love being a mom, yes. But I also love learning new things, accomplishing big wins professionally, running marathons, girl time, and wearing cute clothes. Whatever makes you happy – I hope you are able to do it guilt free with support from those you love the most.

This first week of spring has been incredible. The sun has been out, temperatures hovering in the mid-70’s, birds chirping, and flowers blooming. I’ve made an effort to get in a few runs after work while the sun shone and even cut out of work early one day and sat in my backyard and read a book (Bryan Stephenson’s Just Mercy – incredible) one afternoon.

Bliss.

Spring often means spring cleaning. I’m embracing this concept this year but extending it beyond the traditional de-clutter or spruce up your home definition. As we still are settling into our new home, we don’t have the need for the traditional spring cleaning yet.

So this year, spring cleaning is focused inward. The winter this year was a bit of a grind. I was distracted with job interviews, my foot has had a lingering case of tendonitis (which is SUPER annoying) and my runs were disrupted, the dark skies bothered me more than usual, and I just wasn’t firing like I like to. Nothing terrible, but not enough joyful moments.

My spring cleaning is focused on Marie Kondo’ing things in my inward life that do not bring me joy. You know, we all have them. Time spent not doing what you love. Distractions that weigh you down. Negative thoughts that aren’t helpful. Friends that don’t meet you half-way, or part-way. Gossip or complaints that can become toxic. Bye. Bye.

Instead, I’m looking forward to three incredible vacations with people I love. I’m going to physical therapy again to fix this silly foot. I’m proactively driving my job hunt versus waiting for the dream job to come to me. I’m exploring other investments in myself to help me learn new things and continue to grow. I’m expanding my reading material out of an unintentional self-help rut to broaden my perspective.

And I’m making time to be silly. Singing bad rap songs with my daughter. Joking with my son. Dancing around the house with my youngest. Sharing goofy snapchats with my sister. Being silly is a great way to spring clean any dark clouds away.

While not always easy, happiness can be a mindset, and choosing to frame the world as you wish to see it. For now, I wish to see the world as full of possibility, wash with sunshine, and every day as the opportunity to do what I love with those I love.

Today the sun shines and it’s a brilliant day to write again. I’ve had a relatively good case of the winter blahs and have not had an ounce of inspiration to write.

There hasn’t been a particular cause for my blahs – just caught up in the general busyness of life.

I did have one distraction that impacted me more than I realized. I applied for a new job at Microsoft, where it is common to switch jobs every few years.* I really, really wanted this particular job. I researched it, met with experts in the space and wrote a detailed five page business plan, all before my interviews. In many ways, it felt like the culmination of many years of hard work and hopefully, a well-deserved promotion.

I had an extensive interview loop across eight people including several VIPs. By all accounts, I did well, but there was another strong candidate. After a month of waiting, I finally found out this week that I did not get the job. Sigh. Sob! Blah. I can’t recall being this disappointed in my career for at least a decade. It was then that I realized how distracting the process has been for me. I think it literally sucked the creativity right out of me.

But, I went for it. Jumped right into the arena. And I will never regret going for it. Or anything else that matters to me in life.

Like any good disappointment, this one provided a learning opportunity. I took a few days to be seriously bummed. Like, wallow in self-pity/the sky is falling disappointment. I knew I was being dramatic. But I just rolled with it. Once in a while, you’re entitled to have a good wallow. I shed a few tears, which is very uncommon for me. And had one very solid cry session. Along the way, I reminded myself, “It’s just a job”, “there are far worse things happening in the world”, “I am ever so lucky in so many ways” and more. But I also just let myself soak in disappointment for a few days. Sometimes, you earn the right.

And then. I went to hot yoga a few days ago and there were my lessons! Just waiting for me while I downward dogged and sweated my way through the hour long class. Not every yoga teacher teaches life lessons, but on this day, Kylie did.

While I was trying hard to focus on being present, I desperately wanted to get my phone and take notes! Instead, there were a few key phrases that connected with me – at my core – and I repeated them like a mantra until I could get to my car and type them into my phone.

I do feel like I should caveat the dramatic opening of this blog with a few things:

1. This is not my only dream job. I truly believe there are many, many options available and if this one didn’t happen, it wasn’t meant to be. And I still have a great job at Microsoft – lucky me!
2. There were some red flags about this job that could have made it a not perfect dream job. Amidst disappointment, it is helpful to remember these.
3. My life is good. Really, really good. A healthy family, good friends, a home I love, and so much more. But it’s OK to still be pissed off once in a while.

So here are my life lessons from not getting a dream job, courtesy of Kylie the yoga teacher.

Check Your Foundation

I think Kylie meant to make sure your feet were firmly planted. But to me, this means so much more.

When we hit a rough patch of any kind, what foundation can we come back to? Who are the people you can count on, no matter what? Who believes in you, encourages you, and pushes you to believe that you do deserve the very best of your dreams? What brings us joy, regardless of the curveballs thrown our way? Even while muddling through disappointment, what can we do to plow through and not get stuck?

For me, I’m grateful to have a handful of family and friends who said just the right things. Whether in conversation, text or message, this is the tribe that lifted me up. We have to take care of this tribe. Invest in them. Because we all need a tribe to support us through the disappointments or hard times we will inevitably face.

And we must not lose sight of the joy in life. In my grumpy days, it was prioritizing laying in bed with my daughter and watching ridiculous memes. Coming up with dumb jokes to coerce a smile out of my teenage son. Cuddling with my youngest at the end of the day. Sitting on my favorite comfy chaise with my favorite furry blanket and a glass of wine, reading a good book. Immersing myself in my favorite TV shows of the moment (Goliath with Billy Bob Thornton on Amazon – dramatically good – and Workin’ Moms on Netflix – hilarious). Going for a run to clear my head. The best thing about the foundation is that it is solid. These are things in life you can count on. To show up. To bring you joy.

Know your foundation, check it (per Kylie) and make sure it’s strong – you never know when you’ll need it.

The Journey to Depth is Through Letting Go

On this one, Kylie was encouraging us to not fight our poses, but to simply let our bodies go. In a broader context, I find this notion powerful.

Sometimes, particularly in a professional setting, although really life in general, it can be so easy to get caught up in the destination (i.e. the promotion, or next big job). If we focus too much on the destination, we can miss the simple brilliance of the journey.

Some of my best professional experiences have had nothing to do with a shining reward at the end. But, they were amazing because of the impact I had, the people I worked with, and how much I learned. It’s such a good reminder to not lose months of your life fighting for, and wishing for, the next big thing at the expense of enjoying the journey. At the end of our days, it will be the journey that was memorable. Not the destinations or milestones that we reached along the way.

Of course, the value of seeking depth (professionally, in relationships, you name it), is that we’re seeking to push ourselves to see just how far we can go. I still love this notion. There is value in pursuing depth of experience, depth of expertise, depth of relationships. I’m not suggesting we step away from the pursuit of depth – but keep the perspective of enjoying the journey. Ironically, depth may be best achieved when we stop fighting and let go. This can be one of the delightful surprises of life. At times in my career, I’ve learned the most from what I thought would be a lateral move. I’ve gained incredible mentors, made new friends that evolved from colleagues to lifelong friends.

Letting go sometimes is just what you need to embrace the joy in what you have, take some risks, and push yourself to not just race to a destination, but to embrace the journey.

Surrender to Your Flow, Only You can Define It

Flow, of course, in yoga is a term used for vinyasa yoga. There are many definitions (I just searched it!), but the one I love the most defines flow as “the act of setting an intention and taking steps to reach it.” Swap intention with goal and this is quite broadly applicable.

The beautiful part of this lesson is the role that you uniquely play. How powerful that each of us gets to define our flow. And a really important reminder for me in this particular instance.

In life, it can be so, so easy to get swept up in the comparison game. So-and-so moved up the ladder more rapidly. Why not me? I’m better at x,y,z than so-and-so, shouldn’t I be the obvious choice? Is there any place for loyalty in the corporate world? Why do some people get taken care of, and others not? So-and-so is living their dream, am I? Should I leave a big corporation and do something in support of myself, vs. the company? Oh, so many questions.

And it extends to our personal lives too. This family seems to have it all. Those children are perfect. That person has a million friends. They go to the coolest places. The common denominator? Comparison.

A wise person once said comparison is the thief of joy. I believe this so wholeheartedly. If I pause, let the comparison game go, and just bask for just a moment in my life and my dreams, generally I believe I’m right where I’m supposed to be. Right now anyway. In imperfect balance, but balance nonetheless. This is surrendering to my flow – defined on my terms. And while I have this short-term disappointment to shake off, I realize in the big picture, I still have every opportunity to learn and grow, financially contribute to my family, and be a present mom and wife.

My journey continues. And there likely is a next step for me on the horizon. But in the meantime, I’m going to love and nurture my foundation, enjoy the journey, and define my best flow on my terms. Namaste.

*For the last 21 years that I’ve been at Microsoft, I’ve switched jobs typically every two years. It’s an awesome perk – I’ve switched disciplines (from PR to product management to marketing to content development to PR and back to marketing), products (Windows, Office, Xbox, Bing, and MSN), and learned from many brilliant managers and colleagues. It’s why I’ve stayed for 21 years.

Tonight was a beautiful sunset. The sky was literally bright pink and purple with dare I say, a hint of gold?

It was a gorgeous wrap to today. I really wish I had a picture of it. But I was driving carpool to basketball practice. Trust me, it was beautiful.

It would have been such a great backdrop to today’s blog. So imagine a beautiful sunset:)

Today’s inspiration is Michael Gervais, the wise man behind the Finding Mastery podcast series. It’s an awesome series.

The interview I was listening to on my drive home from work (this was before the quick turn to drive basketball carpool) was with Des Linden, who won the Boston Marathon in 2018. The conversations are always much deeper than any given area of expertise and today was no different.  

The statement that caught my ear during a conversation about the definition of success was really profound.

“You don’t have to do something extraordinary to be extraordinary.”

What a relief! I’ve been a bit…overwhelmed?…with the notion of how to find my extraordinariness. My success. Sometimes, the more books I read about purpose, meaning, being a warrior, girl washing my face, etc. the more confused I get. Am I doing enough with my life? Am I living out my purpose? Am I making the most of every day? Ahhhh!

Some days, I can barely remember to call the school to tell them my daughter is out sick and also hit major work deliverables and also eat a proper lunch all in the same day (I only did two of the three today, FYI. The dropped ball was remembering to call my daughter’s school). And somehow I need to find my purpose too?

So every now and then, I set it all aside. Instead, I celebrate my 2 of 3 wins today. I read my book club book instead of something profoundly life-changing. This month’s is An American Marriage and it is incredible. And it isn’t pushing me to be my best self or anything!

But Michael’s advice today – and I think I can call him Michael because I actually hosted him at work for a team meeting – really resonated. Maybe it’s up to me to define what extraordinary is to me right now. Some days it’s being an extraordinary mom. Some days its being an extraordinary teammate. Occasionally an extraordinary writer. Or maybe it’s just being better than average at all of those things and that, in itself, is extraordinary. Mind blowing.

So today I’m going to set aside the pressure to be EXTRAORDINARY. And just relish the extra ordinary nature of the life I have. It’s a good life. And today, it’s absolutely good enough.  

Oh Saturday, how I love you.

You know why? Saturday is (or can be) the ultimate gift of time. An unencumbered day without work, homework, or other must-do’s. There is still another whole day to worry about laundry, groceries, or other life stuff. Often we have basketball games to cheer at and other parental duties, but I enjoy being a cheerleader. Mostly, it’s a full day to largely fill as we wish.

Today started brilliantly. My most favorite way to start a Saturday. Even more than sleeping in (which I really, really enjoy and don’t do nearly enough).

I met my girlfriends for a run at 7am. I got a great night’s sleep. Got up in time for a cup of coffee and a banana. Put on my warmest running clothes and ventured into the icy, frosty outdoors.

There’s something magical about being up before most of the world. You kind of feel like you’re killing it before the day even starts.

Combine that feeling with girl talk for an hour while banking your exercise for the day, you really are winning at life in that moment. This I must do more often.

I haven’t gotten in a groove post-holiday. A million excuses (an achy foot, travel, a busy schedule, worsening traffic making it harder to squeeze in a morning work-out, high school mid-terms that call for great breakfasts and strong support in the morning, etc). I could go on. But really, it’s in these moments that you should prioritize moments that bring you joy amidst the chaos.

A run with girlfriends to start the day. Brilliant.

As for the rest of the day, I don’t have to do anything!! I love it! When we have these moments, we must cherish them. Thoughtfully take advantage of them. Write a blog in our bath robe while sitting in our dining room before 10am as I’m doing right now. Whatever it is we love, today is the day for doing those things.

Of course, I will do other things. I already made two of the three kids breakfast. I’ll cycle laundry through. I will clean up messes. But mostly, I will breathe deep and enjoy the day.

I hope you do too.

Well whew.…I had a few positive blog ideas this week but I did not sit down to transfer from head to screen. Instead, the words rolled around inside my head while I commuted, in various meetings, while I parented, etc.

Carving out white space time to write is….hard. And this week, unlike my last optimistic post, was kind of an extended hang-over. Even with the best of intentions, life happens. And sometimes, you have to put your head down and plow through. Swim against the current. Run up the hill. Unfortunately, not every week is smooth sailing. This was one of those weeks. Professionally challenging. Personally emotionally hard. In these moments, it is so important to pause. And recharge.

Last night, I captured this picture of my dog, Zoe, which pretty much summed up how I felt.

In a word, beat.

Starting last night, the focus was on recharging. I started off by snuggling my youngest daughter while we watched her favorite YouTube videos. I needed to rise up and be a warrior for her this week, so the cuddles were extra special.

I didn’t exercise all week. A surefire recipe for feeling sluggish by the end of the week. Last night at dusk I went for a run. An easy four miles. With each mile, I shed the week. Bye bye.

And then I took a bath. Another one!!! With a glass of wine and a good book. Relaxing. Recharging.

The night ended with a great dinner and a Netflix movie. Nothing glamorous or exciting. But exactly what I needed.

And then….I slept until 9am today!!!! For real. I never, ever sleep that late. My youngest is an early bird or we have life commitments that start the day, but today, I slept in. As long as I wanted. It was heaven. It’s amazing how clear the world looks with a good nights sleep.

I just got back from a walk with my daughter and Zoe. Some fresh air to start the day. Next up on the agenda is hot yoga.

There will be plenty of moments of parenting, adulting, and catching up this week-end. But for now, I’m relishing the recharge. We all need it sometimes, don’t we?

This week was one big hangover. And not the “woohoo! I had a killer night and I’m paying the price this morning, but it’s worth it” kind.

It’s the first week back after the holiday. Otherwise known as re-entry. Also known as survival week. Also known as the extended holiday hangover.

It really doesn’t make sense. You live your life and all of its crazy and for the most part, things roll right along. But somehow, the first “real” week back to reality after the holidays is hard.

This year seemed even more difficult than usual. My kids didn’t go back to school until January 7th, given how the holiday days fell on the calendar. I will tell you right now – that is just too late in January. That same day, I flew to Las Vegas for the annual CES trade show. I go most years for my job, but I can’t recall a year where I departed the same day as re-entry.

So the week kind of went like this. My husband was also suffering from re-entry and was not thrilled with the timing of my work trip. I forgot the times of basketball practices (some had changed) and had to arrange carpools at the last minute – from Vegas. I was texting my nanny frequently to ensure appointments didn’t fall through the cracks – at the last minute – from Vegas. I was digging through an avalanche of email amidst my work commitments – from Vegas.

When I got home Wednesday night, it felt like I had been gone for a decade. I didn’t sleep well in Vegas – you know, the tossing and turning kind of nights. I was tired with a foggy head.

I had a busy schedule at work the last few days. And needed to ace my parenting game so it was time to rally. But the house needed to be cleaned up for the cleaning lady (you know what I mean….), we were missing some essential groceries, my car had no gas, my son needed to be prepared for his first ski bus tonight, and we had some important meetings at my youngest daughter’s school to prioritize.

This afternoon when I got home from work, I was ready to sit. And do nothing. So I cuddled my youngest and did just that. And later this evening, I took a bath.

That might not sound like a big deal, but it is! Our rental house (which we lived in for an entire year) didn’t have a bath-worthy tub. But, we built a beautiful master bathroom with a beautiful tub. But two months after moving in, the only person that had used it was my oldest daughter. It became a running joke with one of my friends – “have you used your tub yet?” Embarrassingly, the answer has been no – until tonight.

You see, I am terrible about taking time to sit. To relax. To soak in a tub. But tonight I did. I used my lovely new bathtub for the first time. And tried to shake off the hangover vibe of the week. I thought of some things that made me smile today and closed my eyes.

Life is good on a day like today. And I think the hangover is gone. I’m ready to make the most of the week-end. And actually start living those resolutions!

And because every blog is better with Zoe, look how devoted she was while I soaked tonight.