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Last night was a heart bursting moment. These can be hard to come by so you treasure them when you have them.

I wasn’t really expecting it. You see, it followed a week. The type of week you are happy to wrap up with a bow and leave behind. Why it was a week is neither here nor there, but suffice to say…bye bye.

My oldest daughter had finals all week, which is stressful – particularly when you’re a high school freshman. On top of finals, her school had their first formal dance last night. Not the best scheduling, if you ask me, but in any case…..these kids needed to survive finals, figure out the whole dating thing, and be ready for a night of fun.

We had the perfect dress. Rose gold sequins – her choice, not mine – but I LOVED it. Except she decided the perfect dress was slightly too big a few days before the dance – just enough time to order the same dress online – a size smaller. I’m a big believer in having the perfect dress that you love, so check. Two day shipping. Then two dresses. Two sizes. All good. And she was right – the smaller size did look better.

Then I left work early Friday to get our nails done – fingers and toes. Nothing is more relaxing (except perhaps a dream massage) than a good mani/pedi. I embrace the fact that she is happy to go with me instead of friends. It won’t be like this forever, I know. So you soak.it.up. 

Then Saturday was full of prep, getting ready with girlfriends, a hefty snack before the festivities began…and then the big moment.

I swear I had a glimpse into her wedding day. Not anything silly like her future husband or anything. But my daughter, strong and powerful and beautiful. Comfortable in her skin and looking forward to an incredible evening. My heart was bursting.

Bursting with pride for her seamless transition to high school. Bursting with gratitude for her happiness and confidence. Bursting with joy that she is joyful. And bursting with love, love, love.

Her date (and his mom:) picked her up and off they went to a pre-party with 40 of their friends. My good friend was the host and as luck had it, I dropped my son off at his buddy’s house near by. So of course I had to drive by and stalk. It was still early and not too many people were there yet. So of course I sat in my car and watched the house for 10 minutes, as any good stalker would.

Then I did the right thing and went home, because while I knew several parents might stay for photos and the like, my daughter had requested independence. Wish granted.

Until my friend called about 45 minutes later. The pre-party was in full swing. The kids were having a blast. Lots of parents were there. I should come!

So I did. My heart burst some more. To see my daughter and her friends, many of whom I’ve seen grow up from little girls and boys, having such a blast was heart bursting. What.a.gift.

I took pictures, documented memories, and tried to stay out of her line of sight. My daughter rolled her eyes a time or two, but largely tolerated my presence.

Then off they all went. To the big dance. Like before every junior high dance, I had given my daughter “the speech.” Except she knows it so well, I had her just recite it back to me:

Don’t do anything you’ll regret the next day. 

Don’t be that girl that everyone talks about at school or social. There is always a “that girl” at these things (sad, but true), so don’t give the universe anything interesting to talk about. 

Respect yourself, know your boundaries, and make good choices that reflect who you are. 

Call anytime if you need a ride or an exit. 

And, have fun!!!

Then I waited. And waited for her to come home at the agreed upon time. I was half asleep on the couch when she came in. But I couldn’t wait to sit on the couch with her and hear her stories for the next 30 minutes. While I gave her a foot rub (she’s a dancer, like her mom). Heart bursting. 

When you have a heart bursting moment in life, you really must stop. Drop everything. And soak.it.up. Life can be really, really amazing if you do. 

 

A guiding light for me in the last few years and in the last year, in particular, has been a quest for growth. It started about 18 months ago when I had the opportunity to take an entirely different job, which would expose me to broader marketing and business concepts and knowledge from a leader I deeply respect. It was not an easy decision though. I already had a job I loved (also within Microsoft), leading PR for Windows 10. I had built my own team, each member hand-recruited. I had led the team through a successful launch – to this day, one of my most proud professional accomplishments. I loved my co-workers and team, and deeply respected my partners that I worked with every day.

But, here was another opportunity. Unexpected. What to do?

I met with many respected mentors and friends and the best advice I received was “where will you learn the most?” It became my guiding light and north star for decision making. While I was nervous to take the leap, I leaped. And without a doubt, I have learned so much in this position. At times I miss the comfort and familiarity of work I know I am very good at, but I remind myself of my north star. And I charge forward.

Once I started my new position, my manager was quick to push me to prioritize learning and growth. I contribute in many ways, but this is the first job I’ve ever had, where “learning” is a very distinct goal. I love it. This has pushed me. And re-ignited a love for learning that I hadn’t visited in some time.

So this past summer, I created a long list of books to read to continue my self-education. I thought it would be a fun summer project and in the process, realized how much I enjoy it. So I bought more books – hard copy, old school. Which I highlight with a pink highlighter as I read – old school.

I recently finished Carol Dweck’s Mindset and everything came full circle. While I had heard a lot about the “growth mindset” craze, I kind of thought I had missed the wave of growth mindset goodness. The ship had sailed. The buzzworthiness of any new magical business trend moves on. But I had am so happy I got over the timing – and feeling a bit behind the times – and read her book.

It is amazing. The end of the book sums up a very simple path to living with a growth mindset. To benefit from the growth mindset, you have to set goals – goals for growth. Start each day with a few simple questions:

“What are the opportunities for learning and growth today? For myself? for the people around me?”

And then:

“When, where, and how will I embark and act on my plan?” 

Finally:

“What do I have to do to maintain and continue growth?”

The outcome? You seek to become a “more alive, courageous, and open person”.

So far, it’s working. It is a positive lens to any day – regardless what the day holds. I find it to be an energizing, empowering, and exciting way to approach each day – seeking learning.

As an old saying is shared in the book “Becoming is better than being.” Simply – embrace the luxury of becoming. 

 

Today I had the honor of joining the 2018 Women’s March in Seattle with my oldest daughter.

Truth to be told, I wasn’t that excited about going. While a supporter, I’m not much of a marcher. I’ve actually never done another march – in support of….anything. Predominantly because marches are connected with some of my least favorite things: traffic, geographical dependencies (i.e. finding the marchers), and large crowds of people squished together (being short and not being able to see above heads is the problem here, more so than claustrophobia).

In any case, when your 15 year-old daughter shows interest in doing anything with you, you jump at it. And I’ve harbored guilt that I didn’t take her to last year’s Women’s March. It was right after Trump’s election and there was a cloud of uncertainty and fear. Seattle marches for other causes have a history of violence, so my concern for our safety – and general laziness (see above) – kept us from going. And she really wished she had the opportunity.

It also seemed like a notable year to attend. I believe this year will be a watershed year in history for the advancement of women. At least I really hope so. Between the #metoo movement exposing so much bad behavior in the workplace, groups of people having the courage to speak up against deplorable actions – like the brave gymnasts banding together against their abuser, to young women being encouraged to join STEM and other career paths like never before – I hope this is a watershed year. Because it is so needed.

So, this year, I was all in. Ready to march! And my expectations were blown away.

It was so energizing to be surrounded by so many people – not just women – who peacefully came together to rally for women’s rights, and human rights, and many other worthy causes. Every generation was represented, from children in strollers to elderly couples. The spirit, comradery, and general goodwill was infectious and I left renewed with a burst of optimism and positivity. An unexpected gift. And a lifetime memory with my daughter I will cherish forever.

As we marched, I also thought about so much. How my grandmothers were such strong women – hard workers at home and in the workplace, while being the backbone of their families. How my mother went to college and only saw a few career options at the time – teacher or nurse. While noble – and she educated generations of young children as a beloved kindergarten teacher – such limited options just a generation ago. And how much hope I have for my daughter.

I hope she sees limitless opportunities with unlimited room for growth, learning, and advancement.

I hope she sees open doors, with any career path an option and an understanding and belief that with hard work, she can walk through any door.

I hope she pursues not just a job, but a career – one that challenges her, pushes her, ignites her passion, and brings her joy.

I hope she plans on creating her own independence – and while she may be fortunate enough to choose to be a full-time mother, or creative entrepreneur, or dedicated volunteer – she should plan on finding that fulfilling career and supporting herself not just to survive but to thrive in any way she chooses.

I hope she doesn’t feel like she has to choose between having a career and being a good mom. I hope her generation leaves that guilt and pressure behind, and realizes that they deserve to choose their path as equally as men. 

I hope if she decides to have a child, she is not nervous to tell her supervisors at work. I hope she can embrace this choice with joy and excitement, and not fear the impact it may have on her career.

I hope when she tells her supervisors at work, they are supportive and matter-of-fact. I hope they do not say “wow, I thought you were a career person”, as I was told not that long ago really. I hope her dreams are not diminished even one little bit, but celebrated for how much richer her life is about to become.

I hope when she is working her way up the ladder, she not only assumes her seat at the table, but she speaks up, asserts herself, and shares her point of view. I also hope she listens, learns from others, and always shows empathy. But she does not shy away from challenge and she is not intimidated. 

I hope in important meetings of senior executives, she looks around the room and sees diversity – including people like her. I hope she is not surrounded by only men, occasionally exchanging a supportive glance with the other lone female. I hope “inclusion” and “diversity” just are – rather than programs that have to be striven for with miniscule percentage points of progress each year.

I hope she knows she has complete control of her body – today, tomorrow, and always. Her health, her wishes, her boundaries are hers – and hers alone. 

I hope she is surrounded by good people. Who say kind words. And who never demean, belittle, or insult.

I hope she feels supported. Not just tolerated. But supported, to the depths of her soul, to chase the dreams that matter to her. 

I hope she knows that her happiness is everything. And she is powerful. And capable. And has the strength to achieve and overcome.

These are just a few of the things I hope.

This blog could have been about many things. I’ve thought about the awesomeness of sunshine and how it lifts my spirits (yay for sunny Seattle days in the winter!). I’ve thought about motivation and drive, largely due to the books I’m currently reading. I’ve thought about gratitude and embracing each day, as life seems to be surfacing stories of unexpected deaths, illnesses, and sadness affecting people I love. I’ve thought about love for family, reflected in some incredible family photos I received from a recent photo shoot with my extended family. Some of these blogs may get written.

But what’s most on my mind is potential. And expectations. And what unconditional love means. It started on Friday. I flipped through mail that had piled up while I was on a work trip this week and organized financial statements. I saw an envelope for each of our three children, for their college education accounts. I opened the first envelope – “Wow, more than I thought. That is great.” I opened the second envelope – “Good stuff. Our investments must be doing well.” Then I opened the third envelope – balance zero. Oh. yes. That’s right.

For years we’ve known our youngest, who has special needs and disabilities, will not be going to college. We’ve known we should move her college savings to the other two kids. They will (hopefully) need it and she will not. In fact, it’s to her advantage (because the government has crazy rules) to have zero assets. So my husband had finally done it – moved the money saved for her and distributed across the other two. That’s why their accounts were unexpectedly large. And hers is now….zero.

It was a sobering, and sad, moment for me. Even though I’ve known college was not her path for almost her entire life. At times, you are still hit with sadness of what you so wish could be. Zero balance feels final. And it should. Because it is.

But here’s what I know to be true. You cannot let yourself grieve for what you wish would be, or you miss the opportunity to love what is. There is much to celebrate in each life and true love finds the gifts in each one. 

And really, the most important job as a parent, is to help each child find lifelong joy. Usually relationships are the fundamental core of joy. And of course, things that make you happy. I’ve found these things can be found in traditional ways – girlfriends that make you belly laugh, basketball games where you perform your best, and knowing that you are loved – no matter what.

For kids with special needs, it’s really the same. You look for what makes them happy, and surround them with it. Each smile, giggle, eye sparkle and cuddle is a gift. The real test, is if you can get over your (not their) expectations and hopes and dreams, and love them – where they are – unconditionally – and wholeheartedly. For me, of course, the answer is yes, yes, yes!

That’s not to say I didn’t have year/s of moments to grieve. And some things are quite hard. Of course, we all wish our kids had the simplest of paths. But inevitably, they all hit a bump. Some bumps are bigger than others. And some are born with bigger bumps than others. So.not.fair. But it doesn’t help to dwell on that either. All you can do is love. And help them through the bumps. And you will know you have done your best job when they know they are loved – no matter what. 

I’ve been reading Carol Dweck’s excellent book “Mindset”. I’ve heard a lot about the growth mindset concepts from our kid’s school and also work, as the book was influential on our CEO. But this is the first time I’ve read the full book. It really is life changing for how you look at the world. Everything from relationships to parenting to professional and more. For parenting, there is so much goodness. Ultimately, she encourages us as parents to help our children construct “growth-minded ideals” – giving them something to strive for. When we do so, we also give our children “growing room, room to grow into full human beings who will make their contribution to society in a way that excites them.” We do best by our children when we give them room to foster their interests, growth and learning. Wanting what’s best for our kids is less about “judging” and “what I want for you on my terms” and more about fostering “their growth”. Chasing their dreams (not ours). Helping them think and learn. And embracing the hard work ethic that will make them successful in life.

And in the end, we all want the most simple of things for our children – joy. One of the gifts of being a parent of a child with special needs is that perhaps you learn that earlier than others. Of course, I want the most for each of my kids. But I recognize “the most” could take many forms. And may not be my idea. But if they are joyful, good humans, surrounded by love – success will be theirs, on whatever terms they choose. 

It’s a completely disgusting day. When I woke up this morning around 6:15, it was 43 degrees and pouring rain. Pitch black. Super motivating for a run, right?

But I couldn’t wait! I had made plans to meet my friend for a longer run this morning. My first longer run of 2018 and our first run together post holiday break.

This was a legit run. What made it legit? I wore my Garmin. Only serious runs require a Garmin. I haven’t worn it in years. I love it because it tells you exactly how far you ran (I don’t trust my Fitbit). And your pace. Although sometimes I’d prefer not to know that part, but the distance is valuable when you’re training for a longer run. I wasn’t kidding about that marathon!

So anyway. I was so determined to wear my Garmin I actually went in my garage (currently a large storage unit) last night and dug through a box to find it. Now that’s commitment! Side note – I’m quite impressed I was actually able to locate it as the 2 car garage is literally full of furniture and boxes during our remodel.

After a cup of coffee and peanut butter toast, I put on some legit running clothes! I got a new waterproof jacket for Christmas and I love it. My old Nike coat was water resistant but in the last downpour run I was soaked underneath. Now this new jacket…it’s fantastic. Feather light and I stayed miraculously dry. Love.it.

And the run itself was amazing. We branched out of our neighborhood and ran around Lake Union. I’m reminded how fun it is to explore different turf on foot. What a luxury to have the time for a destination run. And I got to catch up on all things with my girlfriend. And I got nine miles in before my big kids even woke up.

The run itself wasn’t groundbreaking in terms of distance or pace. But it was such a reminder of the beauty of movement. How sweet fresh air can be.

This week was hectic with a lot of time in my office and in meetings, and then hibernating from the rain and dark at night. I’m reminded that each day should include the pursuit of fresh air. It clears your head. Gives energy. And is an instant mood lifter.

The minute I return home it’s back to reality. As I write this, I’m simultaneously making chocolate chip pancakes. But I’m full of energy for the day. Bring on cheerleading at  basketball games. Bring on random remodel errands (on the list: choosing a gas fireplace, TV size for our upstairs family room, and tub for the master bath). Bring on house chores that keep our family running. A long drive with my student driver. And some fun mixed in. I’m so ready to make the most of today.

Next week I go to Vegas for an annual computer trade show. I’m not very excited as I hate trade shows. Lots of hours in airless conference centers. And Vegas is the worst. The antithesis of fresh air, really. So I plan on bringing my running shoes. Mapping out time to run outside. Getting fresh air. Keep seeking clarity and creativity.

But for today, I’m going to enjoy the high I’m on from a great run, friendship and fresh air. Even if the air is soggy, it’s transformative. A fantastic way to start the day.

I feel like writing tonight. As I was searching my brain for a topic, my eyes landed on a book in my daughter’s room “Milk and Honey” by Rupi Kaur. Her first book has sold over 3 million copies, tops bestseller lists, and she is a rock star amongst the young woman set.

She started off unconventionally for a writer, as a poet on Instagram. She writes about love, heartbreak and womanhood. She also writes about some deeper stuff – including sexual violence – and at first I was admittedly appalled by some of her writing.

But my daughter asked me to read her poetry together on the beach recently and how could I possibly say no? I believe wholeheartedly that as my kids get older it is so important to meet them where they are. How could I not take the opportunity to learn with her?

So we sat closely together on the beach and I read to her. We listened to the waves with our toes in the sand. We read most of her book together in one sitting on the beach. It is one of my most favorite memories.

And I love a lot of what Rupi has to say. Here is one of her shorter poems, which is a great guidepost for anyone.

how you love yourself is
how you teach others
to love you

The lesson is simple, yet profound. You are worth loving and loving well. It starts with how you see yourself. Your self-worth. Your ability to reinforce with each decision that you matter. It’s up to you to create the life you will love. Surrounding yourself with people who are worthy.

And once you find your people, you hold on tight. Because knowing who you can count on, who brings you joy, who brings out the best in you, and who will stand beside you is really everything.

As you hold on tight, you love deeply. As she so beautifully writes, at the end of the day, this is all that really matters.

most importantly love
like it’s the only thing you know how
at the end of the day all this
means nothing
this page
where you’re sitting
your degree
your job
the money
nothing even matters
except love and human connection
who you loved
and how deeply you loved them
how you touched the people around you
and how much you gave them

I’m grateful to my daughter for introducing me to Rupi’s writing. I had seen her books, but am admittedly not a poetry lover, and had barely glanced at them. I love that my daughter is old enough to open my eyes to new horizons. I can learn a lot by opening my mind to new ideas and new perspectives. Along the way, I get to learn more about one of my very most favorite people in the world. Such.a.gift.

 

 

 

A New Year’s blog is kind of overwhelming. It seems so….important! But it is particularly overwhelming on a New Year’s day when you had a four hour flight delay with your family, your dog had to be picked up from the boarder before it closed at 5pm (4:58 pick up for the win!!), your Christmas decorations were still up and you HAD to put them all away, you had no groceries and a family that needed to be unpacked from a week-long trip.

So I’m writing my New Year’s blog on January 2! It’s a great day! Happy 2018!!!

I also couldn’t decide exactly what to write. I read a few “anti-resolution” posts which I kind of loved – the spirit was “love yourself the way you are” and “you shouldn’t feel the pressure of a new year to change, or feel bad about all the ways you didn’t change in the last year”. I buy both schools of thought.

But I LOVE a new year. It’s a chance to start fresh. Think big. Think different. And approach life with a new lens. What could be more exciting and empowering than 365 days ahead of you? A gift – each year – I do believe this.

And the thematic of this blog is Redefining. And the best way to redefine is through growth. And the best way to grow – I believe – is through focus and thoughtfulness and active choice. Isn’t life more grand if you live with intention vs going day-to-day and wondering where the time went? 

I was also inspired by a writer – new to me – Neil Gaiman. I read a quote of his on Facebook and loved it.

So I searched for other Neil wisdom and found this quote, which I also loved.

And finally, one MORE Neil quote – which I will share with my kids, because I love it.

So with this magical inspiration from Neil Gaiman, who I don’t know from Adam as they say, but wow, do I like what he has to say…here are my Resolutions for 2018. Experts say you’re 70% more likely to commit to a resolution if you write it down and share it with someone to help hold you accountable, so if a few of you read this, I think I’m destined to have a great year. 

A disclaimer – these will read a bit – or a lot – selfish. I’m OK with that. I know I, like I’m guessing most of you, devote so much of myself to family and work, a little – or a lot – of selfishness – is a really good thing once in awhile.

2018 Resolutions 

1. Seek wisdom and learning every single day. This was a great lesson from 2017. From having a dedicated reading list this summer to seeking inspiration from mentors and other leaders, I was reminded this year of how much fun learning can be. A fountain of youth for all of us to take advantage of. When you learn, you grow. And when you grow, you become better, smarter, and more interesting in this world. So this coming year, I will read. A lot. Mostly books, but also articles that catch my eye. I will try to read less social media (my feeds are getting garbled with ads and crap it seems) and garbage gossip (my go-to when bored with an extra 5 minutes). There is wisdom and inspiration literally everywhere – we just have to pause – see it – and embrace it.
2. Embrace audacious and dangerous dreams and create each day with intention. I have a friend whose voicemail ends with “Create a great day!” It’s so true, isn’t it? Isn’t each day an opportunity to create something magical? Or beloved? Or surprising? And if not, why not? Don’t we have – to some degree – control over how we approach each day? Whether it’s a plan for action and accomplishment or pure relaxation, each day is our own to create something great. This year I want to embrace the notion of seeking opportunities to surprise myself. As the years go by, I think this is more important than ever. Try something new. Don’t shy away from challenge or risk or potential reward. Surprise yourself. What a beautiful goal.
3. Make time and space for inspiration and creation. This blog was an effort to do something – for me – that I love, this year. And it’s been very rewarding. I’ve realized I really do love to write. Most of all in my own voice and with my own thoughts, outside of work projects. I’ve also found it is hard to make time for it. Not just for writing, but also for opening my mind and eyes to inspiration. One of the things I first loved about this blog was that it gave me a present reminder to look around. Seek inspiration. Find something worth sharing. It’s a very cool way to live. In the coming year, I want more, more, and more. More inspiration. More creation. More me time – because I love it.
4. Make myself a priority. Earn a spot on the family calendar. What does it take to earn a spot on the family calendar? My kids have many spots on the calendar, daily. From school to appointments to sports practices and games to driver’s ed and more – it’s a busy calendar. For some reason, my work-outs and social plans rarely make it on the family calendar. And then – often get scrapped for other family commitments that come up. So this is the year where I earn my spot on the family calendar. Whether it’s work-outs, fun, date nights, or whatever – my activities matter. Each family member should have an equal spot on the family calendar, right? I know many parents take great pride in the sacrifices we all make for our kids. Do we really need to? I’m going to embrace that my kids will love knowing (someday at least) their mom took care of herself, had passions outside of them, and lived life fully. For me, I actually think it makes me a better mom.
5. Build my dream home. The big remodel is underway and it’s easy to get overwhelmed with all kinds of ideas and advice. So much of it is helpful. Some of it is distracting. And all together, it could make your head spin. There is advice to play it safe. There is advice to go bold. There is advice on top things to avoid. And things every kitchen/bathroom/master must have. I am committed to building my dream house. Inspired by a lot, but ultimately my own vision. A place for me and my family. And I will fight the temptation to embrace advice (even if it is amazing!) that doesn’t map to what I want. It’s a great lesson in trusting your gut, trying to love the process, and ultimately – hopefully – the end result.
6. Run a marathon. This is long over-due. As a lifelong runner, it’s ridiculous that I have never run a marathon. I’ve run 22 miles in training for a marathon, but the marathon (NYC!) was cancelled at the last minute due to a hurricane, and I still haven’t done one. So this is the year. For real. The NYC Marathon sign-up is on January 15th – I have it marked on my calendar. Ready for action. It’s hard to get in, so I will either need to get creative or choose another option. My back-up plan is the Big Sur marathon in late April. It’s beautiful, but hilly. But this is my year. There are steps I need to take to help prevent injury (I have a cranky IT band), so I need to buckle down, prioritize, and make it happen. On this one, it will be an exercise in setting aside my competitive nature as a long-ago competitive runner and just seek completion. Bucket list. Check.
7. Schedule fun and frequently seek new experiences. Well, this one couldn’t sound more lame, but a gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do. Between work and family, for years I have gotten to the week-end and either thought “whew, I’m really happy to put on sweats, drink a glass of wine, and relax” or “these kids need to go to these destinations, carpool, host sleepover, etc” or “huh, I really should plan something fun in advance because here we are, with no plans.” And then I enjoy holiday parties, Macklemore concerts, great dinners with friends, and realize it really is not that hard. Plan fun. Make dates with friends. Book them on the calendar like I do school dances or basketball tournaments. There are great restaurants to try, bands to hear, hikes to explore, and nights out with friends all waiting for me. All I need to do is schedule them.
8. Take memorable trips with people I love. This may not be a big adventure year for me, although who knows what the year will bring? But I do know of several trips I intend to take in the next 4 months to see the sun with my husband, enjoy spring break with my family, and a few girl trips I’ve discussed with people I love (book club takes Vegas part 2! and an overdue girls trip with my mom and sisters). I’ve found when it comes to taking memorable trips the key is booking them. Sounds simple, right? Not really – this is where great ideas can never happen. You have to have the idea, then book it. Commit. Once you book it, you’re doing it. And you’ll have an amazing time.
9. Live fearlessly. I love this concept. How great can life be if we live without fear? Without worrying about missed opportunities or missteps? Or what will people think? We all get this one, very short life. And shouldn’t we make the most of it? This is a tough one for me to wholeheartedly commit to, but I am going to really try. I love the freedom of not running from the possibility of making mistakes, but running forward with the goal of experience, learning, and possibility.

So that’s nine resolutions, in no particular order, for 2018. I’m sure there will be more I should add. I’m sure there will be a few here that don’t get tackled. But I’m going to try.

And it occurs to me – how incredibly lucky and blessed I am – to have the opportunity to have these resolutions. I have friends fighting tough battles – health, economic, family, etc. – who likely need all of their energy for survival. I love you friends and I’m here for you.

But this year, because believe me, I know it can change ever-so-quickly, I am fortunate to have a clean slate awaiting my resolutions.

And I intend to run toward 2018 with renewed energy, passion, audacious goals, and fearlessness, while seeking learning, surprise and laughter. I hope you can too.

Today was a perfect day. Perfection by my definition any way. As 2017 draws to a close, how grateful I am for a perfect day.

And I realize my perfect day is really, really simple. But wow, what happiness it brings.

After the excitement and awesomeness of Christmas, my crew flew to San Diego to meet my family for a beach vacation. We are scattered from Seattle to Dallas to Missouri, so getting together is a treat. And oh so very important to me.

The last few years we’ve gathered in Seattle and headed to snow in Suncadia. This year, after we got a safe flight with my youngest (after a few flights with seizures and grounding for several years) under our belt this summer, we decided to head south for a west coast vacation this Christmas. I’m so grateful my family meets us where we can go.

And what fun we have had! Fifteen family members who love each other dearly and have such a great time. The past few days have been full of adventure – surfing lessons for my big kids, lots of beach time for all, a group trip to Sea World and swimming with dolphins for the big kids, and big family dinners. We optimize for fun and adventure over pomp and circumstance, so family dinners have been BBQ night, pizza night, taco truck night, and Whole Foods lasagna night. But who cares?? We’re too busy having fun to shop and cook.

But today was a chill day for my family, joined by my oldest nephew. The rest of the crew hit Lego Land and we opted for a chill day at the beach. Which created the perfect setting for…the perfect day.

It started early…when I got up with my youngest. And then I went back to sleep and slept late, which next to never happens. Such.a.luxury. What a gift it is to be well-rested! Then I enjoyed two cups of perfect coffee, in a perfectly quiet beach house, while I started a book I had been saving as the perfect beach read (A Stranger in the House by Shari Lapena. I had read her book The Couple Next Door and loved it. Both are thrillers, addicting, and very fast reads).

Then I went for a run – longer than I expected because I got a bit lost (of course) but enjoyed a return four miles on perfectly packed sand along the ocean. The sun was shining. The temperature was perfect for running (~70 degrees) and I soaked up every second.

Next was the perfect avocado toast. My family had hit the beach already, so I enjoyed my brunch in my peaceful house and then joined them.

And then I had the best beach day. I read my book. I love reading a great book in a day. I read fast, but rarely get the opportunity to read a book in one sitting. There was boogie boarding and hole digging and childlike beach fun. There was day dreaming and dolphin watching. There was Corona Light enjoying. It was perfect.

In the words of the brilliant Zac Brown “I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand.
Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand. Life is good today, life is good today.”

All true – except my ass was in a beach chair. Perfection.

Next the most brilliant sunset. Which can take my breath away. Every.single.time.

Then my entire family came from their condos to our beach house for dinner. We laugh. Tell stories. Enjoy dinner and have a few drinks. I love every minute surrounded by my favorite people in the entire world. Perfection.

I realize for me a perfect day is a day surrounded by people I love. A great run on the beach. Wearing running clothes or a swimsuit for the entire day – not getting dressed until dinner. A perfectly cold beer on the beach with the perfect book. Beautiful views. And the blissful gratitude of knowing that you are in the midst of the perfect day. You know it and you love it. 

Perfection.

This week-end I had the most fun seeing Macklemore perform during his Gemini tour. I had seen him perform a few times before and knew he would put on a good show. He performed at the Xbox One launch in NYC several years ago, at the height of popularity, for about 800 people. At the time I was helping lead PR for the launch and had the pleasure of hosting him and his crew, including his manager and girlfriend (now wife), Tricia. Not only did he put on a great show, but he was really nice and grounded. I was struck by how loving he was to Tricia, how down-to-earth their entire group was, and how hard they performed for a corporate show that they could have largely phoned in. I next saw him perform on the Microsoft campus for the Windows 10 launch. Also a great show, which I enjoyed with several thousand teammates.

But this was the best Macklemore concert EVER. Because – I got to go with my big kids. It was the first concert I have been to with them and I couldn’t wait. They are of an age where many of their friends went with friends vs. parents, so I was honored they joined us happily. We had a fantastic time. And as expected, Macklemore put on an incredible show. He is from Seattle and really delivered for his hometown crowd.

There is a lot I love about Macklemore. Great tunes, clever lyrics, catchy hip hop beat, and how he intermixes different musicians amidst his rap hooks. I love that he is goofy and silly and wears ridiculous costumes. I love that his first hit song was about hitting up Thrift Shops, making fun of people who pay $50 for a T-shirt. I love that he is anti-substance and a lover of people – preaching inclusion and the beauty of same love for all.

One of my favorite things about this year is that I have embraced a “growth mindset” – embracing learning more so than I can remember in recent memory. I wasn’t planning on bringing a growth mindset to a Macklemore concert, but I was struck by a few life lessons, courtesy of Macklemore himself.

1. Embrace your community. It was fascinating how many local musicians, dancers, and artists joined him on stage. He had several warm-up acts and was joined onstage by each of them. What an incredible gift to the up-and-comers to get to perform in front of their hometown. He frequently referenced Seattle and seems to sincerely love and appreciate the community that supported him first. He also thanked the audience for leaving their homes, joining the community, and coming together to celebrate music. He was referencing the violence we have seen this year, including at other concerts, and I loved that he acknowledged everyone’s presence – and choice to enjoy the music live – vs. YouTube or otherwise. I remember shortly after the Arianna Grande concert shooting and Las Vegas festival shootings wondering if we should still take our kids to Macklemore. Was it an unnecessary risk? And I’ll admit, I carefully looked for the fastest escape route should we need it. That’s just smart planning. Thankfully we did not. And we had a great, live experience that will create a lifelong memory – in a world that can be confined to 2D screens.
2. Be present. Another awesome lesson to this crowd of phone lovers. We all took lots of photos and videos of course. The kids were Snapchatting. I posted to Instagram. We were just like most people at the show. At one point, I found it hilarious that one of the openers asked the crowd to raise their phones in the air (with lights on) – similar to in the olden days when people would raise their lighters. Everyone had a phone. But toward the end of Macklemore’s show, he paused and acknowledged the pictures and videos. Reinforced he would do the same. And how we all document memories. But then. He asked everyone to put away their phones and simply be present. Enjoy the music. Enjoy the show. Stop documenting and just enjoy. Such great advice – not just for his show, but for life.
3. Love what you do. This was less what he said, and more what he did. He put on a great, great show. Performed many songs over the course of two hours. Danced, used the stage, at one point flew through the air, changed multiple costumes, and poured his heart into singing. He must have been exhausted given his level of high energy through-out the show. He did several encore songs including an extra special song, just for the Seattle audience. And then the lights went out. The show was officially over. James Brown’s “I Feel Good” played as the crowd started to file out. We had great seats close to the stage, so needed to wait for many to file out before us. Which was great, because it was a birds-eye view of true passion. Rather than disappear off stage, Macklemore kept dancing to James Brown. Playing to the crowd around the stage. And generally enjoying the moment. He was in no hurry to leave. Just loving the stage. I’m reading this book called “Drive” by Daniel Pink (a great book, I’ll write about it) and he describes how true masters of their craft lose themselves in the flow or magic of the experience. I think Macklemore was in perfect flow. Loving every minute. Something for us all to aspire for.

So there you have it! Life lessons from Macklemore. I couldn’t be a bigger fan.

Do you ever see a dog walking with its owner sometimes and smile at the pure cuteness? Are you ever in awe of how well-trained the dog is, walking smoothly next to its owner, as they enjoy a peaceful walk?

If so, you definitely were not looking at Zoe and I. Zoe is poorly trained – and as her owner – I take responsibility for this. She doesn’t so much walk, as lurch, bounding from one exciting thing to the next. It could be an interesting smell. An interesting leaf. Or God help me, a squirrel or other dog. If she sees one of these creatures, and if I’m not prepared with a tight grip on her leash, she’ll nearly yank my arm off as she lunges at them. She wouldn’t do anything if she actually caught them – she is super timid – but she gets awfully excited.

So taking Zoe for a walk is typically a work-out for us both. In our last two neighborhoods, they were largely contained with minimal traffic. We were very spoiled in our last house, which had a flat, one mile loop surrounding quiet streets. Perfect for walking a lurching dog. Then we moved into our rental house and while close to our remodel house, walks typically occur on a few streets book-ended by busy city streets. I’ve been terrified that Zoe would get out of our house and bound into one of these streets. Because she has very few street smarts. And by very few, I mean absolutely zero.

Recently, we had the walk I have always feared. It didn’t happen exactly as I expected. Often I have my youngest child with me too and my hands a bit full. On this particular walk, I was solo, so relaxed and leisurely that I held a Starbucks latte in one hand – Zoe’s leash in the other. The sun was out, but the sidewalks were a bit damp. I had chosen a pair of Nikes, which while a bit hipster, have slippery soles. I should have known they were a poor choice.

We were walking down a slight hill, on the sidewalk beside one of the busy streets. I’m really not sure what happened. I slipped – Zoe pulled slightly (nowhere near the traditional full body yank) – and somehow I landed hard on my knees. I was surprised (you really don’t fall that often as an adult and it’s always so surprising how much it hurts!). I could feel blood from my knees soaking my pants. And I had dropped her leash. Ahhh!!!

Of course, she does exactly what I have always thought she would do. She ran straight into the busy street. Thankfully there wasn’t a car coming at the exact time. So I’m standing on the side of the street saying “Zoe, Zoe!” in my most cheerful, commanding voice as if she’ll come on demand. Of course she doesn’t. So I start to get nervous as a car pulls up and graciously stops. And then the driver also holds out her arm to stop traffic coming from the other direction. I continue to say “Zoe, come!” and walk toward her. And Zoe promptly starts running in circles, in the middle of the street. She looks terrified, but still doesn’t come to me. I think she can sense my growing franticness and responds by running in circles around the stopped car. I follow and it becomes a ridiculous game of chase.

At this point, there are 7-8 cars lined up on either side of the street. We’ve brought traffic to a complete standstill. I am scared of losing Zoe. My knees hurt. And I’m mortified that I have so little control over my dog.

As I get more desperate, I see woman after woman after woman leave their cars to help me. Eventually, there are 5 or 6 women all trying to coerce a terrified Zoe back to me or trying to grab her leash.

Finally, a little boy climbs out of the back of an SUV wearing his little soccer uniform. He is holding a bag of popcorn. He leans down, puts his hand out gently, and lures Zoe in with his popcorn. I grab Zoe’s leash and crisis averted!

This little boy was such a hero. I so wish I had the presence of mind to offer him a reward. I was so scared for Zoe and shocked by my fall that I said a heartfelt thank you and then cleared the street so the large back-up could go by.

If I could find this boy, I would so love to. He helped me save my dog – dumb as she is, I love her dearly. He helped the poor women get back in their cars to whatever holiday destination they were likely heading to. And he helped clear a large back-up of traffic on 70th Ave NE.

This little episode – ridiculous as it is – was so heartwarming. It reminded me of the good in the world. How so many people would drop everything – stand in front of traffic – and make themselves late – to help a labradoodle and her freaked out owner. How a little boy would sacrifice his yummy popcorn and cleverly catch her. And how ultimately, even amongst the busyness of the holiday season, an entire street could come to a standstill to help a complete stranger. 

The world can be a beautiful place.