Shout out to the Mama Bear’s

Last night I was fortunate to see some of my favorite Mama Bear’s. I texted and chatted with others through-out the week. Of course, the topic of conversation was the completion of the first week of school.

Such a big deal – the first week of school. We are so desperate for our kids to have a great experience, an inspiring education, surrounded by energetic teachers, and kind friends who bring endless fun to the day.

So here’s what I found….the first week went well for some, not so well for others. Growing up is hard – and blissful – and confusing – and ever so righteous. The sun is bright on some days and the sky is falling on others. Most of our kids ride this roller coaster of emotion, just as we did.

As parents, how we do we ride the wave of emotions alongside our precious ones? How do we support and encourage while building strength and character? How do we convey – for those in the valley currently – that it will get better? There is a home for everyone – with your people waiting to embrace you.

In the meantime, we ask ourselves, are we doing everything we can? What can I fix? Did I not prepare them appropriately? How do I MAKE them blissfully happy? How do I FIX any problems RIGHT NOW?

Here’s my message for you this morning – you are wonderful. You are doing the best you can and that is truly good enough. If you didn’t get your gold star or shiny crown yet for being the best parent you can possibly be, consider this virtual delivery.

I know you so well – spending hours and hours of time planning camps, activities, tutors, and more through-out the summer so your kids are equipped and ready for a productive school year. Ensuring school supplies, backpacks, new shoes, cute clothes and fresh haircuts help them approach each day with confidence. Talking and talking about social situations and friends and calming nerves. Planning endless carpools and select teams and extracurricular’s. I’m guessing you didn’t get your gold star for all of this hard work either – but you TOTALLY should have!

Last night I flipped through my next book – it’s a parenting book called “The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children” – it caught my eye at the bookstore recently. The back of the book promises (via the Washington Post), “stop struggling parents…..this new book releases us all from the stresses of ‘making’ the perfect child.” It may end up being a bit woo-woo for me, but in theory, I’m so in.

I’m not sure what happened to our generation. Why do we feel the need – or requirement – to be perfect in all things? Perfect parents with perfect kids and perfect lives? Because here’s the thing – perfection, actually, is boring. It is our flaws, our uniqueness, our experiences – good, bad, and ugly – that make us perfectly human with the originality that makes each of us special. And I believe that is the form of perfection worth striving for.

I did love an early message in the book – the question was “what do children need?” According to the author, every child wants to know <just> three things:
• Am I seen?
• Am I worthy?
• Do I matter?

As long as the answer from you to your child is yes to all of these (and I so know it is), then everything else is the cherry on top. The whipped cream and sprinkles. A beautiful reminder in its simplicity.

Because they are kids and they are human – they will face challenges and rough days – or weeks – or years. It’s not your job to protect them from all pain – as much as we would love to.

Here’s the crazy thing – as hard as it is to ride the wave, it is SO good for them. Because life will throw them curveballs and by fighting through them early and finding their way, they build grit. And strength. And resilience. And belief that they can handle anything. It’s a powerful thing. And truly, a gift for life.

No, it’s not your job to protect them from the wave – it’s simply your job to ride the wave beside them.

For today, I hope you can take a deep breath. Recognize that your hard work and commitment to your kids is more than enough. These kids are ever so lucky. And you really ARE doing it perfectly – however you are doing it.

Author: Lisa Gurry

Defined as a Writer. Creator. Mom of 3. Runner. Fashion lover. Traveler. View all posts by Lisa Gurry