Wow. What a sobering few days. I really didn’t want to write about the worst mass shooting in modern US history, the terrible tragedy in Las Vegas. But then I didn’t feel right writing about anything else. It seemed acknowledgement was so important. And this tragedy really touched me.
I woke up to the news on Monday morning with a range of emotions. I’ve been trying to process them the last few days. How on earth could 58 innocent people die, with more than 500 injured, at a concert?
Here are the emotions I have felt:
1. Sadness. First and foremost, such sadness. That so much life could be senselessly lost. Imagining families losing children, parents, siblings and grandparents. Imagining the ripple effect of so much loss – the thousands of lives it will deeply touch. Imagining the horror of the thousands at the concert. The sheer terror of not knowing where to go or how to escape. This is the first mass tragedy that was so well recorded and shared – the fear, terror, and tragedy of it all was so tangible. Like the worst reality TV show you could imagine. The last time I saw such a thing was the footage from 9/11. I’ve tried a few things to help manage the sadness – trying not to watch or read too much. Learning more about those lost is so heartbreaking.
2. Gratitude. Such a strange word to use in reference to a tragedy. But with so many of these tragedies, don’t most of us think, “That could so have been me.”? It hits so close to home. I was just in Vegas in May and July. I’ve been to outdoor concerts on top of the Cosmopolitan. I was standing on top of the World Trade Center one month before its collapse. I’ve cheered at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. I’ve meandered down the Ramblas in Barcelona – and planned a trip for my parents to be on the Ramblas two weeks after the Barcelona attack. Just off the top of my head, so many times I could have been in the path of terror, just like those poor souls. What serious bad luck for them and what gratitude I feel that it wasn’t me or those I love.
3. Anger. This has become the big one over the last day. I am so mad. So mad that we have this type of terror in our world. So mad that anyone thinks any human being needs to own a machine gun. Or 52 rifles. Or bump stocks (legal, by the way and available for cheap online) that turn an ordinary gun into an automatic weapon. A semi-automatic weapon can fire 45-60 rounds per minute. With a handy little bump stock, the weapon can fire between 400-800 rounds per minute. Completely insane that this is legal. So mad that you could check 10 suitcases full of artillery into a hotel and no one even notice.
And so mad that our government could actually vote – recently – to make it easier for the mentally ill to get guns. Or to create such loopholes – at gun shows and via secondary markets – that the well-intended background checks that are in place are incredibly easy to avoid. That our fine country has the worst gun violence – by order of magnitude – of anywhere in the developed world. In fact, the US has 5% of the world’s population and over 30% of the world’s mass shooters. Why aren’t we absolutely rioting the government to DO something? So upset that I have Facebook friends that make comments comparing those wanting gun control to the same people who are racist against cops (WHAT??). That I have tickets to take my kids to Macklemore in December and I have to wonder if I will be risking their life. The madness.has.to.stop.
4. Resolve. At what point do we get so very tired of the madness that we actually DO something? Today was the day for me. I signed a petition (178K signatures and counting) to petition the US Congress to stop gutting federal gun laws. To do something to save the 33,000 Americans who will be killed this year by gun violence and bring some sanity to this conversation, including:
- Vote no on HR 3668, the SHARE Act that would gut long-standing regulations on silencers and loosen restrictions on armor piercing bullets.
- Block HR 38, the Concealed Carry Reciprocity Act that would force states to honor the concealed carry weapons permits of every other state, regardless of how lax the other state’s law.
- Ban weapons of war: assault weapons and large capacity magazines, which have no place in the hands of private citizens.
I honestly don’t know how this is even a vote. We’re not talking about banning guns. We’re talking about common sense protection for our country. Will it solve everything? No. But the fact that these items are even being debated – in the midst of this tragedy – is insane to me.
We also have to do something about the money. In the last election, Republicans+ received $5.9M from gun lobbyists compared to $100K to Democrats. It’s interesting to see where the money went – including $170K to Paul Ryan, the top recipient, who says the poor souls in Vegas are in his “thoughts and prayers.”
But this level of money influencing policy making is not new. And it’s totally legal. And frankly, when I look at the top 100 recipients, the amounts of money are far less than I expected. People are being bought for $20K? Really? Until we have greater control over the influence of lobbyists, the answer seems relatively simple to me. We need to fund the non-NRA. Even the playing field. I would donate today if I knew the right, legitimate organization to donate to. Any suggestions?
I know there are some in my world who will not like #4. I grew up in the Ozarks, where guns are so common we had mandatory hunter safety in 7th grade. By then I already hated guns. Because my first funeral was in 5th grade. It was for the brother of one of my best friends. A 7th grade boy with red hair and freckles and a love for Star Wars – who was shot by a family member in a tragic hunting accident. From that moment forward, I hated guns. And still do. But I have family that hunts. Lifelong friends who hunt. Nothing I have said so far is anti-hunting. If anyone reading this disagrees with this perspective, it is OK. Part of supporting constitutional rights is supporting free speech. We’re all entitled.
5. Goodness. The world is good. It really is. It is heartwarming to see how, yet again, normal people become heroes. First responders, police and firemen, nurses and doctors all rallied. Far beyond the expected call of duty that night. Average citizens filled their pick-up trucks with victims. Strangers stayed in harm’s way to hold the hands of the wounded to try to comfort. People gave their lives saving others. It is so noble, so courageous, and so amazing it makes my heart sing. Even amidst the tragedy. As the wise Mr. Rogers says, “look for the helpers”. There are so many people who are caring in this world.
And then lets bring some sanity to gun control. And protect the people we love from massacre mass shootings.
+ For those who assume I am a bleeding liberal – there is some real ugly name calling on the Internet – I’ve voted for both parties in my lifetime. For me, my ultimate motivation is to live in a country that is safe for the people I love.
The Redefining 
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