Do your eyes light up?

Recently I heard the best parenting, and life advice, I’ve heard in some time. Perhaps ever.

A bold statement, I realize.

Of course, it came from the Nobel and Pulitzer Prize winning novelist Toni Morrison. So it is worthy of bold.

The brilliant Ms. Morrison sadly passed away recently after a lifetime of prolific writing. I have always been a fan. And with her passing, I was inspired by her incredible wisdom when I was reminded of this guidance:

It made me wonder, in my life, with the people and things that matter to me, do my eyes light up?

When we first see our children walk into a room, do our eyes light up? Or do we critique their outfit of choice, question if they’ve accomplished certain tasks, or reprimand them for leaving their cereal bowl on the counter (yet again)?

When we see our husband/wife/partner at the end of the work day, do our eyes light up? Or do we quickly focus on to-do’s, lists and obligations? Do our eyes light up for each other or do we focus first on our kids and other responsibilities (beloved, as they may be)?

When we enter a conference room at work and see our colleagues, do our eyes light up? With passion, creativity, and potential? With curiosity for how they are as humans first, and then co-workers? Or do we dive into the task at hand?

When we see our friends, do our eyes light up? Do we take time to really listen to how they are doing? Making sure they know how much we care about them? Do we have real, authentic conversations? Or do we move on to the simple platitudes (“Everything’s great!” “We’re so busy!”, etc) or Facebook highlight reel that can guide our conversations if not careful?

You can see the thematic here. How do we take time in life to pause, focus, and allow our eyes to light up? Wherever we are, whoever we’re with.

And here’s why it matters.

In this same stanza, Morrison guides that we should let our eyes light up so our face says what is in our heart. Not guided by judgement, efficiency, or productivity. But a connection with the people that matter to us, and an expression of love for those who matter the most.

I love this reminder. I’m using it to guide how I greet people in my life. Letting my eyes light up.