Worry

I don’t often think ahead about what I want to write about. Usually, I see what catches my interest, or makes me pause, or delivers inspiration. Sometimes, if the universe speaks to me multiple times on a topic, that focuses my attention. Today is one of those days delivered via the rule of 3’s…

First, a friend texted me about having a hard day early this morning. It reminded me of a beloved quote that I’ve held close for a decade, which I saw on my daughter’s bulletin board last night (which she found completely on her own). And then I randomly listened to the Beatles this morning while I gave the kids breakfast. Random? I think it was the universe telling me to write about worry today.

I’ve had some experience with worry. We all have. If you’re lucky, you worry about hitting deadlines, to-do lists, scheduling, managing your life or your families’ life. If you are less lucky, you might have really big worries. Worries about health. Worries about significant life changes. Worries about major challenges facing loved ones. It’s these worries that can stop you in your tracks.

When Taylor was diagnosed with ACC nine years ago, the diagnosis brought a tremendous amount of uncertainty. It started with a phone call from a pediatrician who delivered the unexpected news – with information he had pulled from the Internet. He’d never heard of the condition. Never seen it. Despite my best hustling, it took us three months to get an appointment with a real neurologist at Children’s to actually learn more. Three months is a really, really long time when you’ve just been told your precious child doesn’t have a large hunk of her brain. And the Internet is one scary, cesspool of information.

Ever since, with additional health curveballs thrown, like any good parent, you could become paralyzed with the worry of uncertainty. The worry of what’s to come – which is different than you ever imagined. The worry of the end of life as you know it.

Or not.

You seek out ways to not just cope, but to live – boldly and with joy. To manage the worry.

Here are my top four Worry tips – simplistic as they may be. They have been a lifeline for me for the last decade. Whether your worries are everyday worries or big, hairy worries – I wish you peace of mind and the opportunity to seek joy each day.

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1) Find your mantra – When in the throes of worry, it’s easy for it to become all-consuming. I found in the early years I had to fight to not let my fear for Taylor’s future consume my days. I stumbled upon the quote “Worry wastes time” – somewhere. No clue where. But over time, it became my mantra. Said it many, many times a day – usually in my head – but it became my guiding light.

I found this quote on Lauren’s bulletin board and I was one proud mama. I love that she loves quotes and inspiration as much as I do. And I love that she too, saw the wisdom in this one.

 

There is so much in life we can’t control. And if we truly believe every day is a gift, what a complete and utter waste to spend any moment worrying about something we can’t fix. Easier said than done, I so realize. But I have found it very helpful to asses 1) Is there anything I can immediately do to fix it? If so, do it. 2) If not, “worry wastes time” – move on. Distract yourself. Seek joy. Employ HIS.

2) Employ HIS – HIS is my scientific method for avoiding worry. It stands for “Head in Sand”. Sometimes knowledge isn’t power. Sometimes more and more reflection just adds concern. Sometimes talking and talking and talking about your problems just creates a dark cloud over your head and weight on your soul. For these sometimes, I aggressively employ HIS. I keep busy, I listen to great tunes, I seek positivity anywhere I can find it. Head in Sand – it’s a beautiful thing.

3) Seek serenity, courage, and wisdom – While in the early stages of worry over Taylor, I was at my parent’s house and saw this prayer in a picture frame. It now sits in my bedroom (thanks Mom!).

I love so much about it. Regardless of what you believe, find a way to surrender yourself to things you cannot control. Finding serenity and peace that somehow, someway, things do work out. Even if you can’t imagine how. There is peace in acceptance. It may take hard work to get there, but it is a beautiful destination.

And I love the encouragement to have the courage to change the things you can – it’s active and solution-oriented. There is a LOT in life we can control – including our choice to seek joy. Courage, not often easy, but always worthwhile.

Wisdom means we get out of our own way and we pursue solutions – even if the solution, for now, is HIS. Serenity, Courage, Wisdom. Such beauty.

I did a bit of research on the serenity prayer to find its origins (inconclusive – from the mid-14th century to sometime in the 1960s). That is useless knowledge. But I found it interesting – and awesome – that the prayer actually is longer – and the next stanzas in the prayer are:

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;

Now I love it even more. One day, one moment at a time – we keep living and seeking serenity and joy.

4) Listen to the Beatles – This one may sound silly, but I believe music is good for the soul. This morning I was DJ-ing Beatles while making three different breakfasts. It can be a bit of an eye-roller amongst the big kids, but I default to my favorites – “Let it Be” and “Here Comes the Sun”. Both sooth the soul. They are simply beautiful songs. And in the words of “Here Comes the Sun”….. “It’s alright….it’s alright.”

Whatever soothes your soul, I hope you find it. And I wish you peaceful serenity.